blood moon, marc spector

two.

SECRETLY, LILITH HAD BEEN HOPING TO RESIGN. she'd been thinking about going into school, getting back into classes. doing something better with her life. but there was a part of her that knew it would be impossible to make any sort of normal life for herself at this point. 

she was military, sure, but she was still a mercenary. albeit one that sort of played for the good guys. at least, she always had to hope she was playing for the good guys.

she'd begun to use any time that she had outside of her missions to read, hoping it would help her retain enough information to help her with the various missions. she'd been traveling to egypt and greece, primarily, and had been familiarizing herself with arabic and greek (though most of the books she could find focused only on ancient greek).

as she traveled between countries, she frequently realized that she couldn't speak any of the native languages. she couldn't negotiate, or answer the victim's questions. she was cold, stoic, expressionless. she at least wanted to apologize in their native tongue.

lilith didn't want to feel like a machine. she felt like a monster enough of the time for killing people, but the last thing she wanted was to be nothing but a killing device. she was a person.

admittedly, lilith was never quite sure what kind of person she was. she didn't know why she felt so cold to the world, or why she had wound up where she was. she supposed some sort of therapist or psychiatrist could give her some answers, if she really sought them out.

lilith had been analyzing a greek paradigm for some time, staring at it until every letter morphed into a pitchfork and a squiggle. she was brought out of her pointless staring when her phone rang.

"yeah?" she asked as she held the phone up to her ear with her shoulder.

"james," her boss said, using her last name, "i've got a good one for you."

how a murder could be described as good, she didn't know. "uh huh?"

"you're headed to crete." he said. "you're to take out a terrorist leader who poses a threat to all of greece. oh, and, you'll have fun with this— he lives underneath the minoan palace. isn't that wild?"

lilith leaned back in the cushion of her couch, listening to him speak. how much of a psychopath did he take her for? she didn't have fun with any of her missions. let alone ones that involved potentially ruining a significant archaeological site.

"isn't that a tourist spot?" she replied, her tone pointed. "you seriously want me going after a guy when there are civilians around?"

"that's why you're not going by yourself." he replied.

lilith's brows furrowed. a second mission that wasn't solo? "okay. fine. when do i leave?"

if there was one thing lilith had learned from working with alastor jabez, it was never to expect an explanation or a plan. he hung up before answering her question, which left her with the assumption that she was supposed to leave immediately.

she had learned to pack light, since these missions usually didn't take too long. usually she was fine with a pair of jeans, a tank top, a jacket, socks, extra underwear, and something to sleep in. she packed for a week, hoping that she'd be back by then.

she grabbed her passport and other necessities, not too worried about her weapons. jabez would provide her with any specifics that she needed for the mission. she grabbed a gun and a knife for good measure, tossing them into her bag.

lilith often wished that she could have a pet. something, anything to keep her company while she was home. but it was those moments that prevented it entirely— she couldn't trust her own schedule, how could a pet be expected to trust it?