Oyama: Her Story

CHAPTER 23

It’s 3am and I’m laying naked on his chest, he’s asleep. I just had a nightmare, which is why I’m awake at this ungodly time. The same way I want go to bed, there’s somethings that are still playing in my head, like their fathers’ way of parenting. Your son was just beaten and when you get home, you slap him because what? He didn’t follow your rules, I get that the man is the head of his family and his job is to protect his family, but there were better ways he could’ve disciplined Mazwi, the slap wasn’t necessary, it really wasn’t. Like Qhawe’s mom mentioned earlier, I don’t know anything about their family so I shouldn’t be judgmental, but come on. Your son was kidnapped and nearly tortured because he was sleeping with a girl from another family, then when you him to safety, the first thing you do is interrogate him, and add on to the beating he received. No ways, I know tough love is sometimes the answer, but where’s the love cause all I saw was toughness. I shift out of his arms and sit up, I look back at him, his face is gleaming from the Moon light shining into our room, because we both didn’t want to close the curtains. He’s so peaceful, he stirs a bit, but is back to sleeping peacefully. He looks like a baby the way he’s asleep, its only now, I can see how peaceful he looks when he’s asleep. I grab my phone and head to the bathroom and close the door quietly.
I sit on the toilet, ‘Boyabenyathi Group CEO?’ the page starts loading.
‘Godongwana Ndlovu; age 73’ that’s all that’s given.
He has white hair. He looks like a kind man, then again, Qhawe’s father also looks like a kind man and he’s really not.

Ok, Boyabenyathi Group deals in Farming, trucks and shipping, by shipping I mean cargo ships. They even have a private Port in Durban.
There’s a soft knock, “You ok in there?” he asks.
“Yeah, just give me a minute, go back to bed” I say.
“I’ll go back to bed when you come out of the bathroom” he says, I flush the toilet and wash my hands.
I walk out and he’s standing in front, shoulders broad, he turns around and walks back to bed, I never realized how wide his back is until now, why am I only noticing these things now. I get into bed and he’s sleeping on his side. I sit up with my head on the headboard, I look at him and one question is really pestering me and I never had the time to ask it, because, we were busy. If you know what I mean.
“Qhawe” I say softly, he doesn’t respond, “Qhawe” I say again a bit louder. No response he was just awake how’s he back to sleep so quickly?
“Qhawe”
“Mh” he mumbles.
“Are you asleep?” I ask, I’m nervous, why would I ask if he’s asleep, “Why did you never tell me you had another brother?” he lifts his head slowly and turns to me, looking at me, with his eyes half closed and asleep.
“What?” he asks.
“Keabetswe, your other brother?” I ask, I mean maybe he forgets because he has 11 siblings but that’s not something he would forget.
He drops his head back onto the pillow and pulls the sheets to his shoulders, “I guess I forgot” he says dismissively.
“Qhawe, you are the type of person who doesn’t forget, you even remember small things like how, I got the tiniest scar on my body” I say.
“Yeah, well people forget sometimes, I’m not perfect” he says in a tone that suggest he just wants to sleep.
“Ok but…”
“Yoh Oyama, drop it OK” he snaps now. I stare at him for a moment, taken aback by his sudden sharpness. My chest tightens, the weight of his words sinking in. He never speaks to me like this.
"Okay," I whisper, lying back down, trying to ignore the sting of his tone, but it's already buried deep.
He turns his back to me, his breathing already evening out as sleep takes him again. I stay awake, the questions swirling in my head. Why didn’t he tell me? I’ve met all his other brothers—so why is Keabetswe a secret?

I turn to my side, watching Qhawe’s back rise and fall with each breath. He’s always been my calm in the storm, but tonight, I feel distant from him, like a wall has been placed between us. He’s keeping something from me, something about his brother, and I need to know what it is.
I gently roll out of bed again, this time heading for the window. I press my forehead against the cool glass, staring out into the night. The moon is high, casting a silver glow over everything, but it doesn’t soothe me. My mind is too restless. What could Keabetswe have done for Qhawe to keep him hidden? I feel a knot form in my stomach. In this family, secrets run deep, and it seems I've just scratched the surface. I hear the sheets rustling, and I turn to find Qhawe sitting up now, his eyes heavy with sleep, but awake. He looks at me, his face softening.
“Come back to bed, Oya,” he says quietly, his voice tired but more gentle this time. I don’t move.
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” I ask again, my voice breaking just a little. I’m not trying to push him, but I can’t let this go.
“Because there’s nothing to tell about Kea” he says. I walk back to bed and sit on the edge, waiting for him to continue, “He’s irrelevant right now, all that matters are the ones who are here”.
“How is he irrelevant, he’s your brother, he’s not dead, he’s out there right? He’s still alive right?”
“Yeah, but I don’t care” he says, “We all make choices he made his” he says, rolling back to his side again. That tells me that is the last time we’ll ever talk about his brother.
“He’s your brother, don’t you worry?” I ask, he doesn’t even roll over to look at me. He just evens out his breathing, telling me he’s done talking and going back to bed for the last time.