Blood Money (1) | The Inheritance Games

XXXVIII. exile

"I think I've seen this film before, and I didn't like the ending."

Spencer.

The drive back home in the schools stolen minibus is eerily silent. Jameson is behind the wheel, Maja in the passenger seat. Thea, Xander and Avery are up the back. I'm sitting directly in the middle, Noah's the row behind me, just watching me intently.

Maja hasn't spoken since we left. She's staring out the front window, her face unreadable. I'm not sure what's worse — the quiet or the fact that I can't read her, can't figure out what's going on in her head.

The only sound is the gentle singing on the radio, quiet enough to not be heard but loud enough to provide some breakage to the silence. A few cars pass us in the dead of night, likely people working the night shift. It's a daunting reminder of how everything continues on in life. The world doesn't stop when something like this happens.

"I'm gonna call Nash and Gray." Jameson murmurs, asking Noah to take the wheel. My boyfriend nods swiftly and takes the wheel. 

I try not to listen to Jameson's conversation, but it's hard because everyone else is silent.

"I don't know." He mutters. 

"Yeah Xan's here." He confirms, "And Ave." Jameson adds after a moment. "Maja, Noah and Thea too." He sighs after a beat.

"Like an hour now." 

His voice tells me two things, one: he's exhausted, and two: he feels responsible for what happened. 

"How was I meant to know?" He raises his voice a little. There's a louder voice muffled over the phone. "Did you know?" Jameson demands, knowing the answer is no. "Nobody knew." I mutter, all eyes falling on me.

"Yeah.. yeah.. we'll see you there." Jameson mumbles, hanging up the second he can and sinking into the seat beside me. 

I shuffle closer to the window so there's space for both of us. 

Jameson doesn't speak, he opens his mouth but it clamps shut when he realizes he has nothing to say to make this better.

"I should've seen something. I should've known what was happening." My brother whispers shakily, not making an attempt to provide comfort because he knows nothing ever will.

"How could you have? I made sure you didn't." I'm not entirely sure if my voice is even there, the confines of my tight chest making every word strained.

"I'm supposed to notice these things, Spence. I'm your brother." His voice is a little louder, not aggressive or angry, just firmer. 

"I've gotten pretty good at keeping secrets." I muffle, pushing tears off my red cheeks, only for them to be replenished in less than an instant.

"I've never wanted you to feel like you have to hide anything from me... I don't care what it is, Spence. I just... I'm supposed to protect you." His voice is tender and raw.

I slowly turn my gaze towards him, observing the tears in his eyes, refusing to drip down so he can remain strong.

"I protected myself.." I trail off, realizing the words are no longer even remotely true. "Until I couldn't." 

The tears in his eyes slip out, but he's quick to swat them away, staring at me with agony. "I'm sorry." I bawl, my voice shredding.

"Don't." He instantly shakes his head, holding his arms out for me. He doesn't pull me in like he normally would, he just lets me fall into his hold on my own. The second my face hits his chest, his arms cradle me instantly.