Blood Money (1) | The Inheritance Games

XLV. i almost do

"It takes everything in me, not to call you and I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't."

After Noah's mysterious call, I was left with inconclusiveness and confusion. I had Xander drive over and check he was all good. But my little brother's answers to my questions were vague. I brought Maja over to be sure and she confirmed that everything was fine. Though, both avoided my questions when I pleaded with them to tell me what happened.

I settled for the unsureness, knowing his sister and best friend had the right to know — whereas his ex didn't. 

It takes everything in me not to call him. And every time I don't, I almost do.

I've spent the past week since finding my clue focusing on the letter and trying desperately to decode it. I've also tried to focus on myself more. I still haven't been in school in ages, because I know going back means him.

There've been a lot of interviews and paperwork in the process of starting a court case. I've tried to stay open minded about it all, the thought of Anthony Jenkins rotting in an orange jumpsuit his whole life brings me vast joy. 

I've realized with the trauma of being raped, I've managed to take my mind off eating, so it comes more naturally to me now. I don't overthink the calories in my mouth. And I certainly don't have the time to be scrutinising myself in my mirror anymore. So does that mean I'm miraculously healed? No. I guess it just means I'm too busy for an eating disorder...? As stupid as it sounds, my mind has been anywhere but my stomach. 

My therapist is currently attempting to set a goal with me to be back to school by Monday, which is fairly ambitious considering it's Sunday and I'm shitting myself. She thinks it would be good for me to be back in the environment of friends. I guess it would feel good to be around everyone again.

Placing my guitar back on the hardwood floor of my bedroom I grab my phone and start doomscrolling on social media. I've picked up my cultivate choice for this year again. I chose guitar, stating that I simply had to, even if it killed the old man, which it subsequently did I guess. So I guess if it really mattered that much to me back then it should mean something now. And since I'm closing in on my 18th, I'm growing more and more aware of the fact the old man would probably be disappointed if he knew I didn't finish what I started. So I've kept going with my guitar learning. It's been a really great way of grounding myself to be honest.

The court letters were set to be issued last night, informing Ant Jenkins he was being trialed in court for forcible statutory rape. It also was sent alongside a temporary restraining order, which stated he wasn't allowed to talk to me at school, or come within 50ft of me. Emails were also issued to the principal, school board and every teacher. Which meant as of tomorrow morning when the teachers checked their emails, everyone would know. 

I didn't want the teachers to know, but this isn't just a court case of me vs him. My lawyers decided it would be best suited to not only go after him, but the school. Because the school allowed it to all happen on grounds. 

Laying out my school uniform and makeup for tomorrow, I head to sleep at an ungodly early hour. By the time I was awoken by my sharp and piercing alarm, I actually felt well rested.

I drove myself to school, getting there early to get a parking spot. 

I sit in my pink jeep alone, sipping an iced latte and scrolling. My eyes catch Ant Jenkins and my blood runs cold. He's getting out of his car with a furious scowl. His face is still wrecked from Noah and my brother's attack. He marches towards the doors of the school. Despite his eyes mot even coming close to spotting me, I tense up and feel a cold chill wash through my veins.