My Life As A Bridgerton

Part The Eighth

I DO NOT OWN BRIDGERTON.

Bridgerton House. London, United Kingdom. 2 days later.

A couple days later, Violet and Lady Danbury started their match making scheme by inviting Simon Basset aka the Duke of Hastings over for a family dinner. We were having mainly vegetarian dishes because Violet wanted to try this new once a month thing where we only ate veggies for dinnner in an attempt to be more healthy. Some of thr Bridgerton's complained, but I personally didn't have a problem with going green; so I just shut up and ate.

I had to admit that the dude was charming..in a broody i'm so over this shit kind of way. As the dinner proceeded it seemed to everyone that much more work was going to have to be put into shipping Daphne and Simon. The 2 were so chilly towards one another that I was actually relieved when the conversation turned to the identity of Lady Whistledown.

"For all we know, Whistledown may be some interloper living in Bloomsbury, of all places." Anthony remarked as everyone dug into their plates of food.

"What should be so terrible about Bloomsbury?" Benedict asked. "That people there actually work for a living?"

"She does seem to be someone with access." Daphne pointed out.

"Who knows if Whistledown is even a she?" I asked, partly as a joke. If I was going to have to endure a family dinner with the Bridgertons, I felt I had the right to troll a bit.

"Fair point." Anthony agreed as this got Eloise started on another one of her fuck the patriarchy rants.

"Because she is simply too good to be anyone but a man?" she asked as I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I mean, I agreed with her feminism, but she was just not the best spokesperson for her cause. Eloise just knew how to turn people off.

"Well, I think it rather obvious that the writer is Lady Danbury." Francesca commented as she was honestly my guess when I first watched the show.

"Lady Danbury enjoys sharing her insults with society directly." Daphne argued. "She would never bother herself writing them all down."

"Could it be Lady Featherington?" Hyacinth asked innocently.

"No!" We all exclaimed as I couldn't but laugh at that sow having 1/28 of the cleverness that her youngest daughter had.

"You have yet to read what Whistledown writes of the Featheringtons, little sister." Eloise remarked with a smirk as Violet leaned in towards the Duke to talk to him about the fashionability of families eating together.

"Gregory, would you stop tossing peas at me?" Hyacinth shouted as she was getting sick of brushing the vege off her dress.

"Those peas were already there." Gregory lied with a snooty tone of voice. "You cannot tell me what to do, I am older."

"And I'm taller." Hyacinth countered.

"Children!" Violet exclaimed, trying to keep control of the situation before they could embarrass her further in front of Hastings. Meanwhile conversations began to splinter off as Eloise and Francesca discussed rakish Dukes while Simon and Daphne entered into a bitter pissing contest based on the writings of Lady Whistledown. As much it pained me, I had to be impressed with Penelope's ability to get the people of the Ton worked up into such a frenzy. Seeing all the snooty upper class people of London freaking out over what she wrote in her sheet was one part of watching the show that I actually enjoyed.

"Hastings, I'm so glad you decided to join us this evening; it was most spontaneous of you."Anthony said aloud in an attempt to defuse the verbal quarrel before it could go any further.

"Not at all, with Lady Danbury accepting your dear mother's gracious invitation on my behalf...well, however could I have declined?" The Duke replied as he made it perfectly clear that he attended this dinner as a courtesy to his beloved relative and not because he actually cared to be here. To be honest, I could relate completely; considering I was only here because i'd been cosmically flung into Colin's body with no inkling as to how I was going to get out of it.

"You must stay for dessert: it's gooseberry pie, your Grace." Violet explained as I bore witness to Simon Basset finally having a genuine smile appear on his face for the 1st time since he set foot in Bridgerton House.

"Ah, lovely!" He exclaimed as the servants brought out the pie in question. Violet had boasted about her cook being renowned for making kick ass gooseberry pie and after having tasted it; i can assure you that she has ever right in the world to boast.

That gooseberry pie was by far the best damn pie that I have ever had in my life; not just the best gooseberry pie, but the best pie in general. Looking back now, the only problem is that the only time I get to have it is when the wife and I visit the family. The cook would sooner part with her breasts that give up her secret recipe. After I scarfed down 2 big ass pieces of gooseberry pie, we all excused ourselves to do whatever it was we did before turning in for the night.

As I went to my room, I found myself thinking about Nolan Ayers for some reason. I wondered what he was up to, if he was doing all right wherever he was or if he was even still alive. He had been my best friend and we'd had some good times together. He was more into period pieces than I was and he just ate up shows like Bridgerton or his personal favorite: Reign with a freaking spoon. I bet he would have probably had the time of his life if he had been zapped into a show like this.

As I later found out...I actually don't know shit.

REVIEWS NEEDED AND APPRECIATED.