A Series of Unfortunate Denouements

1: The Heaviest Harpoon

Qeta Miseria took the harpoon gun with her, just in case anything might happen. She looked at the clouds of smoke that were appearing in the lobby of Hotel Denouement, and decided it was time to go. With the harpoon gun she had stolen from one of the worst villains on earth, she ran towards the exit of the hotel.

There were a lot of people in Hotel Denouement, all which Qeta didn't really like seeing again. A man with a cloud of smoke covering his face just stepped out the elevator with his companion Charles.

"Those irritating Baudelaire orphans," the cloud of smoke hissed. "I've never seen anyone like them. Setting a hotel on fire, for god's sake!"

"I'm sure the Baudelaire's didn't do it, Sir," Charles said. "They really are quite charming and kind, and would never do something like that."

Qeta lowered her head. She wished she didn't know, but she knew the Baudelaires WERE responsible for the fire in this hotel. Even though they didn't have much of a choice, and even though they warned a lot of people, the Baudelaire orphans were the ones who started the fire.

"I didn't expect Olaf to set a fire already," a scratchy voice said suddenly.

Qeta gasped when she heard that voice, and when she turned to look, she noticed a man with a beard but no hair walking next to her, hurrying to the exit of Hotel Denouement. She could feel the darkness coming from his soul.

"Well, I'm not surprised," a deep voice said, and Qeta knew immediately it was the voice of the woman with hair but no beard. She was just as bad as the man: if not worse.

Qeta had hoped these villains wouldn't have believed the Baudelaires when they warned them about the fire, but it seemed the man with the beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard were clever.

Qeta looked at the harpoon gun and then at the two villains walking next to her towards the exit. If she wanted to... She could shoot them there and then, and the villains' reign of terror would have ended.

But would she do it? If she would shoot the villains now, then they would have died the same way as Dewey Denouement did yesterday. He was also killed by the harpoon gun.
Qeta couldn't do it. And she didn't want to do it.

She hurried outside, almost tripping over the villains' feet as they left the building as well.

And just as Qeta ran away from the hotel, past the small lake that was in front of the hotel, she turned around to look at the building collapsing. The sky was black with smoke, but Qeta could see a boat with a parachute float off the building just in time. And Qeta knew for sure it were the Baudelaires, seeing as this was an invention only Violet could come up with.

"Looks like we made it just in time," the villainous man said as he stood next to Qeta, looking at the collapsing building as well.

"And will you look at that," the woman said. "The orphans seem to be escaping."

"With Count Olaf," the man pointed out.

Qeta took a good look at the floating ship and then noticed it too: Count Olaf was on board.

The man with the beard but no hair sighed. "Do you think he will manage to get the fortune?"

The woman shook her head. "They will probably end up somewhere in the ocean," she said, "and drown."
"You're forgetting something," the man said. "Everything eventually washes up on Ishmael's shores, remember?"

Now Qeta turned to look at the villains. What were they talking about? Ishmael's shores?

"That's true," the woman said. "Speaking of Ishmael, where do you think the sugar bowl is now?"