The Mike Lectures

Mike On Picking Up Women

Alright kid, not gonna lie to you....alotta people saw that, maybe next time don't approach a girl when a guy has her arm around her shoulder. Yeah I said to take your shot, but not like that! Christ kid, read the fuckin room! Don't let it get down, you don't need puppy eyes to pull! Besides, you've fucked up worse! Remember table 5? Sure Mike had to smooth over some ruffled feathers, but it turned out okay! Now here's the thing I know about women, not a god damn thing! Shit kid, I've had more women stumble into me than the other way around! That aint you though kid, Mike goes with the flow. Don't get me wrong, you're smart and all but Mike still has some things to teach ya! Here's the thing kid, ya gotta flow with life, but at the same time keep an eye for the opportunities that present themselves. Floatin along will keep ya happy for a while, but that shit is pretty low effort and doesn't give ya a rich life. A rich life is a combination of the two, like that Karate Kid type shit, wax on wax off. What? You haven't seen it? Shit kid, you're making me feel old, anyway you get the gist: It's all about balance and takin in the scenery. Don't get lost in it though, far as I know we only have one trip on this blue marble! Can't be in the weeds every day! Yeah I see him giving ya the eye too, so is that gal at the other table, she's been shootin ya glances all night. Usually Ol' Mike would have you figure it out on your own, but let him give ya some advice: Buy that guy a beer and say you're sorry, that shit goes a long way. Then go over and buy that gal a cocktail and talk to her. Don't worry about Ol' Mike, that guy comes out swingin I'll have your back! It wouldn't be my first tussle, certainly won't be my last! I'll just be here watchin the game, remember you owe me 5 bucks if the shirts lose! Go get em tiger!