I can't

Twelve

I was laying in bed that night or morning, I guess. It was 3 a.m. and sleep hadn't even crossed my mind.

Luke left after he hugged me. He said he hoped I was okay and that he'll see me around. I was surprised to say the least.

I couldn't sleep what so ever. I kept thinking about the hug. Ugh listen to me. I sound like he kissed me.

I turn on my side and close my eyes attempting to sleep but, as soon as I did my eyes opened.

I contemplated calling Skylar and then I finally decided to. I need advice. Badly.

I call her cell and pray that she picks up. Luckily she does after like the fourth ring.

S: You better be dying or hurt right now, Kathleen. 
"I'm confused and I need help." I reply.
S: That works too. What's up sweetie?
"Luke was over here and he-
S: Woah woah hold up. Luke was over? Your idol? The one you met today? The rude one?
"Yeah. Well guess what." When she didn't reply I took that as my que to go on. "He hugged me. And actually sounded genuine when he asked if I was okay."
S:ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME LUKE HERE?!
"Yes."
S: So what are you wanting advice about?
"I don't actually know...I just don't know how to handle it, you know? He insults me and ignores me all day, and then all the sudden there he is at my doorstep asking if everything was okay. Like I don't understand, whatsoever."
S: Well I think you should ask him about it. I mean we have the other boys' numbers and we will hopefully be seeing them at some point so I would ask him.
"But what if-"
S: No what ifs. Now I'm going to back to bed and so are you. I love you.

With that she hangs up and I'm left there with basically no answers. I want to talk to him but, what if he takes it all back and just goes back to being a dick.

I kept pondering for a while until my eyelids became heavy and sleep was inevitable.

----------------

I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing.

I look over and see that it was almost noon already. I also notice that I have text messages from Michael, Ashton, Calum, and a shit load from Skylar.

"What the fuck" I say to myself. I check the boys' first and they all say that they're going over to Corning Park and that I'm invited.

I wasn't really planning on getting out of the house today or socializing for that matter but, I guess it couldn't hurt.

I look at Skylar's messages and they say the same thing but, more fangirling and telling me to "answer my gosh darn phone"

I chuckle and reply telling her and the rest of the boys that I'll go. Skylar replies almost instantly telling me that she's going to pick me up in fifteen minutes so we can hang out a little before we go meet to meet them.

I slowly get out of bed, the key word here being slowly, and go pick out an outfit. I pick out a simple black muscle tank that says "fuck you too" but, soon I realize that I'm going to a children's park and that's probably not the best idea. I put it back and pick out just a black crop top that says "black is my happy color" and faux leather pants.

Deciding a shower was too much work and that I took one yesterday, I change into the outfit and head to the bathroom to do the usual.

I start by doing my hair and just simply brush it out, deciding that my short semi-wavy hair would have to do for today. I do my makeup but, keep it simple and just put on concealer, eyeliner on my bottom water line and top, and slightly wing out my eyeliner.

I move on and brush my teeth, and by the time I'm done with that I hear Skylar honk her car horn out front. I grab my phone and head phones from my night stand and head downstairs to the kitchen.

I grab a banana real quick and was about to walk out before my mother stopped me.

"Where do you think you're going?"
"Out." I replied. I didn't want to deal with this right now at all.
"No you're not. After yesterday you're staying here." I turned to look at her. I kept calm and with a straight face replied with, "No, I'm going out. You'll just have to deal with that."

I turn to walk out the door and ignore her yelling.

I open the door to Skylar's sad, beat up minivan and buckle up. "Argue with your mother again this morning?" "What do you think." I said as I got comfortable. She luckily left it at that and didn't say more about it.

I reach to turn on the radio and instantly it's the crappy, typical music that everyone's heard. I flip around the stations until I find one I like that's playing My Sweet Summer by Dirty Heads.

The car ride is mostly filled with the sound of me singing along and the sound of Skylar's car buzzing until she speaks up.

"Tell me about last night. I know it shook you up a little."

Instantly my mind is racing and I don't know what to say, as I couldn't even really understand what happened last night, myself.