Through the wall

XV

"So, he held your hand, told you he didn't like seeing you hurt or upset, promised to introduce you to his parents next time... and you didn't say anything?" Camila stared at him, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Ami, are you sure you didn't say anything? Didn't do anything? Didn't ask him anything?"

"Nothing. I didn't say a word."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"'Why what?' Are you out of your mind?" She pointed to her head with her finger. "Don't you think he treated you a little... differently?"

"Yes."

"Yes? Yes?! And then what?"

"And then... I didn't want to ruin it. Every time I kiss him or get too close, or try to talk to him, he pulls away and disappears. And I... I really, really don't want that to happen again." Gun lowered his head and stared at his knees. "I like him so much... I really do. I don't want to lose the time I have with him. So, if staying quiet and not making any moves lets me be with him, I'll keep doing that."

Camila, who had been standing in front of him, dropped her shoulders, sat down beside him, wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and spoke softly.

"Oh, my little piggy! I get it, I do, but... don't you think that's a bit unfair?"

"Unfair? How? I'm not forcing him into anything or lying to him; I'm just letting him be."

"I don't mean unfair to him; I mean to you. I think it's important for you to speak up, to say what makes you happy or hurts you. What you need and want matters too."

"I know, and I'm ashamed for being like this, but I've never felt for anyone the way I feel for him. Honestly, I had a terrible time while he wasn't talking to me. I... I love him, and I want to be with him. Even if we don't have the kind of relationship I want, maybe... I don't know, maybe he doesn't want to be with me because I'm a guy. You know he was married to a woman. I can spend time with him as friends; it's clear he cares about me and looks out for me. I can accept that."

"I don't think the fact that you're a guy is the issue. Just because he had a relationship with a woman doesn't mean anything. You know I like both guys and girls. And from what you've told me, it doesn't seem like he's rejecting anything about you. That time he showed you that 'mechanical' wasn't so 'mechanical'... he didn't seem to be pushing you away, did he?"

Gun turned as red as a tomato.

"Could you stop bringing that up? You know it embarrasses me..." He suddenly straightened up and met her gaze. "Listen, I know everything you're saying is true. I know I should do something when he does things like that, but I don't want to mess it up. I swear I'm fine, really... Can you just support me? If I ever start to feel bad, I'll walk away. I promise."

"I... okay. But if I catch you sad or sulking about your gorgeous man, we're having this conversation again. Deal?"

"Deal." Gun held out his pinky, linking it with hers, hoping his friend would be wrong.

─── *.☽ .* ───

Several days went by and Gun and Off saw each other daily. Off would drive him to work every morning and pick him up afterwards. On the days Gun had to go to school in the morning, Off waited for him in the car with a coffee and a sandwich for breakfast, knowing Gun skipped breakfast at home to get a bit more sleep. Off sent him good morning and good night messages every day and accompanied him to his meetings with Lia, who kept him updated on the small progress being made with the complaint against Sing, from whom there had been no further news.