D for Depression [Mature]

Chapter 43: To be his girl [18+]

A/N: Please give a chance to the beautiful song above. The whole album is wondeful, but 3am has my heart for a reason. A perfect fit for J and D.❤️‍🩹
And don't forget to comment. 🫵

I just saw a red flag
Gonna pretend I didn't see that
'Cause is it really, really that bad?
I need you really, really that bad

- 3.a.m by Rosé

I never thought that being someone's girl would've meant endless nights of distress, equalised with a high amount of pleasure, to somehow soften the blow of being with a guy who can't give you his one hundred percent all the time.

But I guess that's the reality of being not just any girl. Jackson's girl.

And I have basically signed the papers to give up everything just so I can call him mine. Which means that no matter how bittersweet our situation is, no matter the doubts I have every night when I lay on my bed re-thinking my choice, it all crumbles down into pieces the moment I have him in my arms.

Because it's moments like this when I know he is worth every risk, every pain he is inevitably going to put me through...Pain I know I will face, but I can't find myself to care enough.

The only thing I care to feel is him. As long as it lasts.

''Fuck baby. Just like that...Don't stop.'' I whine underneath him, feeling his fingers speed up, following the movements of my hips that can't seem to stay still, no matter how harshly Jackson's rings are biting into the skin.

''You need to lower down your voice darling. We don't want to get caught huh?'' He whispers to my ear, causing me to nod in response, even though he isn't really making any effort to silence me.

On the contrary, he smiles deviously bringing his thumb to trace my clit, earning a moan from me, that he quickly suppresses by diving his tongue into my mouth.

Fisting his hair between my fingers I tug harshly to let out some of my frustration, while his hand circles my throat, tipping my head back against the door of the stall we are currently locked in.

''Feisty little thing.'' He mumbles, biting on my lip to draw blood and then lick the subtle cut, sucking on my lower lip gentler this time.

''Jackson...'' I pant, feeling my pulse accelerating underneath his palm.

''What is it baby? Are you there already? You need a little push from me?''

''Yes!''

''And to think you claimed I can't make you finish in ten minutes...Look at that, we still have 4 to go and you are almost done for.'' He sarcastically replies casually checking on his watch.

I guess I am partly to blame for the position I found myself in. Our morning started with him picking me up from home, to go on a ''morning date'' as he called it, on our way to my uni.

A date I was really excited for, considering the fact I haven't seen him for a couple of weeks before that. He was out of town for business, yet opposed to his usual tactics, he actually made an effort to keep me updated this time. Mostly, by calling me at the end of the day for a chat that could last a few hours, over topics that always ended up with me falling asleep, but never about his work or the reason he was wherever he had to be.

''Don't stress yourself out, pretty girl. I count the days to see you again. Can't wait to have you all over me like the last time, remember?''

Boy, I did remember. It took me by surprise as well when I found myself drenching in pleasure, literally, during one of the heated moments we shared over the past month. I've only ever read about it, never actually managed to do it before and it's not like I didn't try it on my own. But it seems like all I needed was Jackson's mouth, fingers and a cute little butplug.