Maybe in next life

chapter 34

Mihir

It's been 25 days since we came back from Switzerland, and everything feels like a blur. I'm sitting here, flipping through Ruhi's diary again, her wishlist, her dreams, everything she's ever wanted to do. I smile when I reach the page where she mentions her book-seeing it on the best-seller list feels unreal. Just two days ago, she had that interview, and I could tell how much it meant to her.

As I trace my fingers over her words, I can't help but think of how far she's come. How she doesn't even realize how incredible she is.

I still remember everything about that trip-the way she laughed, the way she looked when she saw the snow for the first time, how I carried her on the mountain, how she became my reason to smile in ways I never expected.

But as I sit here, I feel a familiar sharp pain in my chest again. It's getting harder to ignore. The weight on my chest, the shortness of breath... It's like something's wrong, but I won't go to the hospital. I can't. I just can't. Because I know what's wrong with me.

I close my eyes and lean back in my chair, clutching her diary to my chest. I'm trying to breathe through it, telling myself I'll be fine, that I can't afford to fall apart. I need to be there for her. But it's getting harder and harder to pretend that everything's okay becauseits not.

Maybe I'm not okay. Maybe I never have been.

I close my eyes, leaning back in the chair, the room spinning with an unsettling silence. The pain in my chest is becoming unbearable, but it's nothing compared to the weight of the memories that flood my mind.

Her laughter, light and pure, rings in my ears like a melody I'll never forget. It was always the sound I craved, the one thing that could ease the tightness in my heart.

I remember the first time I heard it in Switzerland-when we were all together, carefree, not a care in the world. That was the moment I knew I was in too deep. Her joy, her presence... it was everything.

And our first dance in the rain. It felt like time had stopped, just the two of us in the middle of that storm, not knowing or caring what was happening around us. I remember how she looked at me, her eyes wide in surprise, and how I couldn't stop myself from holding her, from pulling her closer, as if I needed to protect her from the world. My ruhi...My rooh...

I remember her words, too. "I don't deserve you, Mihir." The words she whispered, so full of doubt, so full of fear. And the ache they left in my heart. How could she say that? How could she think that? She deserved everything-everything I couldn't give her.

I clutch the diary to my chest, the memories tearing me apart. The pain in my chest intensifies, but it's not just the physical pain-it's the fear, the dread that I might not be able to be there for her. I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be strong, to carry the weight of my love for her while everything else slowly slips through my fingers.

I remember the way she looked at me, eyes full of trust, and my chest tightens, suffocating under the realization that I might not be able to keep her safe, fuck I am soo unlucky.

I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I could make the pain go away, wishing I could give her everything she deserves before it's too late.

But as the memories come crashing back, I can't help but wonder... if I don't have much time left, will she ever know just how much I love her?

I try to shake off the suffocating weight of my thoughts, but it's harder than I expected. Just as I feel the pain in my chest again, my phone rings. It's Vihaan.

"Yo, Dude! My car broke down in the middle of the road, can you come pick me up?" His voice, always full of energy, cuts through my haze of thoughts.

"Vihaan, really?" I try to sound normal, even though I feel like I'm on the verge of collapse. "You know how far you are?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but the car's not going anywhere. Come on, don't make me wait too long, alright?"

I sigh, rubbing my temples. "Fine, I'm coming."

I hang up, throw my jacket on, and drive out. The cold air feels good against my skin, the wind blowing through the open window, trying to clear my head. When I pull up next to Vihaan's broken-down car, I spot him leaning against it, looking frustrated.

As soon as he gets in, I feel the weight of his gaze on me.

The car ride feels longer than it should. It's quiet, but in that quiet, I feel the weight of everything pressing down on me again. I can't shake the feeling, the aching sensation in my chest. Something's not right. I've been ignoring it, pushing it aside, but the pain's getting worse, and I know I can't keep pretending like everything's fine.

Vihaan's usual chatter replaced by a heavy silence. I know he's noticed. He always does. He's watching me carefully, his concern written all over his face.

I drive, the road stretching out ahead, but my mind's not here. It's somewhere else-somewhere I don't want to be. The thought lingers, and I can't push it away.

Finally, I break the silence.

"Vihaan," I say, my voice quieter than usual, the words coming out harder than I thought they would. "I need you to listen, this... this might sound weird, but I....want you to take care of yourself. You've got to, okay? our college, our friends... Ruhi... my dad, all of them. Don't take any of it for granted. Don't ever think you're too busy to be there for them."

Vihaan looks at me, his eyebrows furrowing, but I can see the understanding in his eyes. He knows I'm not talking about some random advice. He knows it's more than that.

The car feels colder now, and I'm struggling to breathe. I grip the steering wheel, trying to steady myself. I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending like I'm fine. The ache is growing stronger, and I feel like I'm running out of time.

Vihaan doesn't say anything at first, but I can see the emotion in his eyes, the way his jaw tightens. "Mihir..." he says, his voice hoarse, but I cut him off.

"I know everything is going to be fine, Vihaan," I continue, my voice barely above a whisper. "But I... I just need to know that you'll be there for them, for everyone. They need you more than you know." My voice cracks, but I don't stop.

"I don't know what's happening to me, but I feel like... like something's going to happen. And I just want to make sure everyone's okay. Especially you, vihaan. You're... you're the only one who really gets it. You're the one who knows me the best."

There's a long pause, and Vihaan doesn't say anything. I can feel the tears building, but I won't let them fall-not now, not like this. I can't.

Finally, Vihaan speaks, his voice low but steady. "Mihir..." He pauses, trying to find the right words. "I don't know what's going on with you, but you're not alone. You never will be. I don't care what happens, I'll always have your back. Always."

I nod, grateful for his words, but the doubt still lingers. The pain is still there, pressing on my chest, and I know deep down that I don't have much time left. The thought is too much to bear, but I push it down, forcing a smile. "Thanks, Vihaan. You... you really are my best friend. I'm glad I have you."

Vihaan doesn't answer right away, but he reaches over and pats my shoulder. "And I'm glad I have you, too," he says, his voice softening.

I drive in silence for a while, the words between us unspoken but understood. He doesn't need to say anything more. He knows. I know.

But as I turn the corner, the pain in my chest becomes unbearable, and I can't ignore it any longer. I try to steady my breath, but I know deep down that something is wrong, and I'm scared. Scared of what might happen. Scared that I might not have the time I want to fix things, to be there for everyone like I should be.

I don't want to go, but I know it might be too late.

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"Hey guys, thank you so much for reading and staying with this story so far! 💗💗💗I want you all to remember every moment, every laugh, and every heartfelt exchange because everything changes from here. The rom-com ends here, and now begins the raw, emotional journey. This part is going to hurt—deeply. So brace yourselves, feel every word, and let this chapter take you on a ride you won’t forget."😭😭🌻

Love you guyss