Maybe in next life

chapter 35

Ruhi

It's been a few days since the exams started, and the pressure's been mounting. But today, something felt different. As I sat at my desk, the weight of the books on my lap, I felt a strange unease. It was like a shadow looming over me, a feeling I couldn’t quite shake off. I couldn't explain it, but the anxiety gnawed at me as I stared at the papers in front of me.

I know my exams are almost done, and soon I'll be leaving for Canada, but... I couldn't stop thinking about Mihir.

I can't afford to let my mind wander, but it's hard. Every time I close my eyes, I see him. His smile. His voice. The way he always seemed to care so much, even when I pushed him away. But I can't let myself feel anything. I have to focus on what's ahead, even though part of me doesn't want to.

The more I try to push him out of my mind, the more he keeps creeping back in. Maybe it’s because deep down, I know I’m going to have to leave him behind. And that thought is unbearable. I want to be with him. But the future... the responsibilities that await me, they hold me captive.

I don't know what's going to happen when I leave, but I can't seem to stop the storm brewing inside of me. Something about this feels wrong. I wish I could just block everything out and focus on the present, but it’s so hard. So much uncertainty surrounds me, and all I can do is hope that things will fall into place.

But deep down, I feel like I'm already losing him, even before I’ve had the chance to figure it all out.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard a soft knock on my window. I froze, my heart pounding in my chest. I stood up quickly and opened the window to find Mihir standing there, his face pale and tired, looking like he hadn’t slept in days.

Before I could say anything, he climbed through the window without a word, pulling me into a tight hug. His arms felt cold, but there was something desperate in his hold, something that made my chest tighten.

“Mihir, what’s wrong?” I asked, pulling away slightly to look at him. He didn’t respond right away, just gazed at me, his eyes dark with something I couldn’t quite place.

“Can I spend some time with you tonight?” he finally asked, his voice hoarse, almost pleading. “Please, just tonight… I may never say this again.”

The urgency in his voice made my heart ache, and despite my better judgment, I nodded. “Okay, Mihir. Just tonight. But tomorrow is my exam… you know that, right?”

He smiled faintly, a sad kind of smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know,” he said softly, guiding me to the bed, where we both sat down. There was an uncomfortable silence, and I could tell he was gathering his thoughts.

“I don’t know how to say this, Ruhi,” he started, his voice trembling just a little. “But I’ve fallen in love with you I know I already told you this many times but...”

My heart skipped a beat. I looked at him, speechless. He continued, his words pouring out in a rush, as if he had been holding them in for too long.

He hold my hand and begin to speak ag ain.

“I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. In that boxing place, at the college. You were so… fierce, so different. I didn’t know what it was, but something in me just… clicked. And when you told me your name, ‘Ruhi,’ I swear, I fell for your voice too.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just listened, trying to process what he was telling me. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out something small—my wishlist diary.

“I stole this from you,” he said, looking down at it with a guilty smile. “I wanted to fulfill everything on your list. I wanted to give you everything you deserved… everything that would make you happy. But I never had the courage to tell you.”