Maybe in next life

chapter 19

Ruhi🐚🦢

I sat by the window of my room, staring at the faint streaks of light breaking through the dark sky. Dawn was approaching, but sleep had evaded me all night. The sound of the city waking up outside didn’t match the turmoil brewing inside me.

Mihir’s words kept playing in my mind on a loop.

"You’re not alone, Ruhi. Not as long as I’m here."

His voice had been so steady, so certain. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t certain about anything anymore.

I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face against them. My mind raced with thoughts, clashing and overwhelming me. I couldn’t ignore what he had said in the car last night.

"I love you."

Three words. Just three. But they had the power to shatter the walls I had built around my heart. Walls I thought were unbreakable.

Why did he have to say it? Why now, when everything in my life was already spiraling out of control?

But his voice, his eyes… they were so genuine. It wasn’t just a fleeting feeling for him. I could feel the weight of his words, the sincerity in them. He meant every single one.

And that terrified me.

Because no matter how much I tried to deny it, I cared for him too. I cared in a way that made my heart ache. But I couldn’t let myself feel it.

I couldn’t let myself dream of a life with someone like Mihir when I was barely holding my own life together.

Last night’s argument with my parents was still fresh in my mind, cutting through me like a sharp blade. My father’s voice had been stern, filled with expectations I could never meet.

"Ruhi, this isn’t a discussion. It’s final. You will move to Canada. You’ll complete your studies there and meet Aryan. He’s a good man, and this arrangement will secure your future."

His words had felt suffocating, as if they were tightening a noose around my neck.

I had stood there, trembling with frustration and disbelief. “I don’t want to go to Canada,” I had said, my voice shaking. “I don’t want to meet Aryan or anyone else you’ve chosen for me!”

My mother’s voice had been softer but no less insistent. “Ruhi, we’re doing this for you. For your future. We only want the best for you.”

“But what about what I want?” I had snapped, tears stinging my eyes. “What about my dreams, my choices? Don’t they matter at all?”

My father had sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. “You’re too young to understand. You’ll thank us later.”

Their words echoed in my mind now, filling the silence of my room. They didn’t understand me. No one did. Except maybe Mihir.

But could I trust him?

I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the chaos in my head. My parents’ expectations. Mihir’s confession. My own tangled feelings. It was too much.

Mihir’s face flashed in my mind—the way he had looked at me last night, his eyes soft and full of concern. The way he had said my name, as if it meant something more to him than just a word.

"You deserve everything good in this world, Ruhi. And I’ll always be here to remind you of that."

A lump formed in my throat, and I hugged my knees tighter. Why did he have to care so much? Why couldn’t he be like everyone else, distant and indifferent?

It would have been easier that way.

I thought about his promise to always be there for me, his insistence that I wasn’t alone. But wasn’t that what everyone said? My parents claimed they were doing everything for me too. Yet all their decisions felt like chains, binding me to a life I didn’t want.

What if Mihir was the same?

What if his love, no matter how sincere, ended up being just another expectation, another cage?

Tears welled up in my eyes again, spilling over as I buried my face in my hands.

I didn’t want to think like this. I didn’t want to doubt him. But after everything I had been through, trusting someone felt impossible.

My father’s words echoed again, sharp and unyielding. “This is what’s best for you, Ruhi. You’ll see that one day.”

What if he was right? What if resisting them was pointless? Maybe it was better to give in, to do what they wanted. To stop fighting.

But then Mihir’s voice cut through the doubt like a lifeline.

"You’re strong, even when you don’t feel like it. And you are so, so worthy of love."

How could someone believe in me like that when I didn’t even believe in myself?

The conflict inside me grew, pulling me in opposite directions. One part of me wanted to hold onto Mihir’s words, to let them guide me toward something better. But the other part was scared—scared of hoping, of trusting, of falling.

Because what if I let myself feel something for him, and he left?

What if he broke me even more?

I wiped my tears angrily, frustrated with myself. I hated feeling this way—weak, confused, torn. I hated that my life felt like it wasn’t even mine anymore, like I was just a puppet being pulled in different directions.

And most of all, I hated how much Mihir’s words had affected me.

I leaned my head against the window, watching as the city fully woke up outside. The sun was rising, casting a golden glow over the streets.

A new day. A fresh start.

But for me, it felt like the same endless cycle of doubt and pain.

I closed my eyes, whispering to myself, “What am I supposed to do?”

There was no answer, just the silence of the room and the faint hum of life outside.

And for now, that silence was my only companion.

________

Thankyou for reading 📚💖

"Hey guys! Ahh, so much confusion right now—she’s so torn, but maybe she’s right in her own way. Stay tuned for more updates as the story unfolds!"

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