THE DREAM CATCHER

22. NICCÒLO

We run. We run as we hear gun shots behind our backs. We run as someone screams at us to stop. We run as the police sirens growl far away. When we manage to leave the suburbs and enter the city centre I pull her by the hand to hide in one of the dark alleys. I push her flat against the wall and press my body, my bare, freezing chest against her. It's October and it's getting unbelievably cold at night. We see red and blue lights blinding us as the police car drives directly next to us. We are swallowed by shadows. My hands placed above her head, hers straighten at her sides. I turn my eyes from the street to look at her. I see something flickering in her gaze. Some burning flames. She feels. Every aspect of this situation, of this world, of me. She is scared, stressed and excited. Because she is alive. She is not dreaming, not anymore. And even in this situation it makes her eyes glow and it's the most beautiful thing I've seen in my entire life. I think about her in that way too often. She lifts her head to look me in the eyes, we're so close to each other it's hard for me to breath.
,,How did you know my brother?" She asks with a trembling but confident voice. She doesn't move. She doesn't do anything to break free from my trapping cage of a body and I'm so grateful she doesn't. I feel so comfortable with her. I feel alive. But her question caught me off guard. I have to make something up very quickly. Until it's too late.
,,We were in the army together." I say unbelievably. Her gaze tells me this. But as she says her next words I think she caught the bate. It's not a big lie, I do know her brother. Knew. Before he died. But we never met in an army, Something flickers in her gaze, like she just gained another memory that's been buried inside her mind for way too long.
,,You were in the army with Noah? You saw what happened?" She says and I already know I screwed up.
,,I was. And I did." I say trying to swallow the lump in my throat, trying to sound convincing. I can't break free from her absolutely gorgeous eyes scanning mine. I feel like I'm watching a whole universe.
,,And he trusted you?" She asks. She's still scared of me and it hurts like a gun shot.
,,He did." I answer too quickly. I'm embarrassed by the way she makes me feel. Because she makes me feel.
,,Prove it." She says but her voice is barely a whisper.
,,Noah died due to an explosion in the sector 19th forest. Between black and white radius. October 30th. Five years ago. I was there. I barely survived. We were serving together for a year." I've never been so grateful for my ability to read people's minds. Otherwise I would never know such an information. Such a lie. Such a made up story.  And I see her gaze darken, I see her heart sinking deeply in her body and her mind covering with fog. I'm shattered looking at her in such condition.
,,Okey." She says inaudibly. I see her eyes covering with tears. What have I done? And then, her eyes draw lower, directly at my bare chest. I feel shivering crawling up my spine. And when she touches my naked skin with her cold palms I think I'm melting here and there.
,,That's a beautiful tattoo." She says with a drunk, drugged voice. ,,It's the sun city isn't it? 6 rays." How come did she read me like an open book? I guard myself very carefully. I built a walls separating me from other people, like walls separate the Heart from the rays and she still managed to break them. Again. Nobody ever realised what my huge tattoo represents. At least no one asked.
,,Yes. I don't want to be trapped in one. Everybody deserves to live. Everybody is equal." I say I don't even know why. Something inside her pure, bright, naked soul makes me feel like I can trust her. With my life. I see her for the third time since we separated, I don't know her anymore and yet I already know I would kill for this girl. So innocent, so bold, so full of feelings that I don't see in people often. She is exceptionality, something unordinary, abnormality in the present world.
,,It's beautiful..." she whispers as she runs her hands down my bare chest and even though nothing could compare to the pleasure her touch gives me I step back. She is drunk, drugged, shocked. I can't use her like this. She will regret that tomorrow.
,,You are drunk." I say fighting for my breath. My heart is pounding like crazy.
,,A little." She says with a kinky smile stepping forward. She is approaching me so fast I don't even realise when I reached the opposite wall and hit it with my naked back. The cold marble meets my skin. She is leaning against me, so close, that the only thing I want to do is to catch her in the most breathtaking embrace and eat that absolutely stunning smile out of her lips. But I can't. I respect her too much to use her like that.
,,I'm going to walk you home okey?" I ask almost out of breath as her face is just inches from mine.
,,Okey." She whispers after a long while. She isn't even blinking. She just lets me devour her stunning space of eyes. They are beautiful. They are what I first saw when I looked at her, five years ago and the view lives rent free in my head. Everyday. Everyday I wake up I see those eyes. And the image doesn't seem to let go of me. I can't look at them anymore. Because if I do I'll collapse on the ground right in front of her. Not like I wouldn't like to. It's just not an appropriate moment. I'm supposed to protect her, not fight an urge to kiss her. So I catch her hand and lead us of the dark alley out on the street.
,,Where do you live?" I ask as we hide in the shadows of buildings and bridges, trying to hide the fact that I know exactly where she lives.
,,I'll lead you." She says with a dry voice like she hasn't drunk in years. It's sharp, aching but yet, still so beautiful I feel like I could listen to it until my death.

She does. She leads me through the swallowed in the night city. It's empty. All of the people that resident at the streets during the night must have heard the police sirens and have hidden. At least I won't have to kill anyone in front of her eyes once again. I don't know if she would take it peacefully.
,,What's with that foreign accent of yours?" She says after killing a silence that was walking with us the whole time. I didn't know she noticed that.
,,My parents were Italian refugees during a war." I say truthfully. At least this is something I don't have to necessarily lie about. My parents. My dead parents.
,,That explains a lot." She says gently, satisfied she knows something so personal of me. ,,And where do you live?" Another lie crawls out on my tongue. I can't tell her I don't have a home. That I'm an alone orphan. That I'm homeless. That I'm pathetic.
,,I have my place in the suburbs." I say, this lie itching on my tongue.
,,Okey." She whispers, collecting every piece of information about me. She's studying me like a book. ,,Tell me something more about yourself. If you want to gain my trust."
,,Wasn't saving your life enough?" I say trying to turn it into a joke, trying to swallow the huge lump in my throat.
,,Good point." She answers without even a shadow of amusement.
After a long walk we finally approach one of the tallest, glass skyscrapers in the city. The view makes me feel sick. I hate those heartless blocks of brick and glass. They resemble me. And I despise it.
,,It's here." She says turning to look at me. Now she seems more sleepy, tired. But she still looks good with half closed eyes.
,,Do you want me to walk you to the door?" I ask. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable but I just have to know she reaches her home safe or I'll not sleep that night. Or any night.
,,I can make it." She says gifting me with a shy, sleepy smile that I would burn the world for to see again.
,,Are you sure?" I ask once more pushing her to spend more time with me. I don't want to leave her, I don't want to go home. I want to hold her in my arms until she falls asleep. I want to hold her in my arms until the world burns to the ground. But she kills me with her simple words.
,,Yes." I think I'm dying. ,,Thank you Niccòlo. For everything you've done for me." I think the ground just opened under my feet and swallowed me alive. My name rolling out of her lips sounds so familiar, so like home.
I can't manage to say a word. I'm too stunned. I can't even move. I wish she remembered. I wish I didn't screw things up.
,,I hope I'll see you again." She says and her words make me feel alive for the very first time since my step father first raised his accompanied with a gun hand on me.