THE DREAM CATCHER

33. MEMORY

I was ten years old when I got shot for the first time.
Cold, October air woke me up early in the morning, accompanied with my mother's eyes shining with excitement above my head.
,,Eden, we're moving." She. Said blinding me with the most fulfilled with happiness smile. I've never seen her so happy in my whole life.
,,What?" I asked with sleepy, unconscious voice, running my hands through my face trying to get rid of the remnants of sleep.
She didn't offer me any explanation as she practically dragged me out of my bed. Carton boxes already scattered the floor of my tiny room. She persuaded to pack all my things as I was fighting not to fall back asleep. She didn't let me ask any more question as she silenced me every time I opened my mouth. Noah didn't come to my room that morning. When mother packed all my things she suddenly turned to face mr, kneeling on the floor to be at my height.
,,We are moving to the Sun City." She said, suddenly so serious I felt my blood freezing.,,I told you, remember? No more in-diversity, no more mixing. Just us. Safe." And that was all she had to say to make me interested. I never rushed so much doing anything. Safety. Safety was the only thing I was longing for. I wanted to feel safe in my own home, in my own city. And the images from before haunted my nightmares every time I dared to fall asleep. Every time I dared to close my eyes. I was young, scared and desperately trying to find a shelter from everything I've seen. That's why I didn't understand why Noah screamed at the top of his lungs when mother pulled us out of our house. I was blinded by euphony. By the perspective of a better life. Mother led all of us outside the house. We were waiting at the porch for a bus to pick us up when the mayhem started. A house few alleys away collapsed under the force of a bomb. The explosion was so strong it set me down on my knees. The dirt got into my eyes, nose out. I heard screaming, crying, gun shots. I didn't understand why they were doing it. Why they were trying to strip me from the only escape from this horrible world. I wanted to scream, to cry, to ask them why. In that very moment I felt my dreams about better life being shattered. I felt my heart being shattered. I didn't want nothing but peace. Safety. What was I supposed to do to earn it? To be worthy being alive? The answer came to me in the form of a bullet sinking in the side of my stomach. I was ten.