The Distance

OCTOBER - JASON, 1

I told my mom my new team had a special training session the first weekend of October called "The Pumpkin Patch Dash." I was pretty proud of that lie. I even considered printing out a flyer for it and casually leaving it on the kitchen counter. Ultimately, I decided not draw extra attention to the cover-up that I was actually going to Kingsley Park with Cole. It was the first time I'd see him after the dance.

"Are you going to wear little booty shorts to show off your best asset?" Ash asked me on the Friday before.

I shook my head vigorously.

"I don't think Jason's wardrobe is as eccentric as yours," said Paige.

"He could borrow some of mine," said Ash with a shrug. "Cole wouldn't know what to do with himself."

"I'd rather he did know what to do with himself," I said suggestively. Paige and Ash reacted exactly as I knew they would; with over-exaggerated "oohing." I looked over my shoulder, trying to take a look at my own butt. "Do you really think it's my best asset?"

Ash and Paige nodded first to each other and then to me.

"That and your pretty face," said Paige. "In fact, when I see you, all I think is butt-face," she added, joking.

I rolled my eyes at the pun, but I appreciated the complement beneath the jest. I wasn't used to having my appearance validated by anyone. It was nice to feel attractive. Still, I dressed normally on Saturday when I met up with Cole. I didn't want to freak him out. Not to mention, it was quite cold.

Cole was wearing leggings underneath his running shorts and was hunching his shoulders from the chill in the air. He reached out to me and we hugged on our greeting. I wanted more. I wanted a kiss. I wanted to be naked in the shower with him again. It felt like every time we saw each other, we started from the beginning.

"How was your week?" he asked, making awkward small talk.

"Good," I said. "Yours?"

He nodded to himself and began to jog. I followed behind cautiously. We had said we would run together, but I had no interest in it. I wanted to know how he was feeling after I crashed his dance. My heart was beating like I was running a race.

"There's a new guy on our team," Cole said to me instead of any topic of interest.

"Oh yeah?"

"Do you remember Jack Clayton?"

"Not really," I said.

"You're lucky," he replied. "He totally sucks. I have to see him every day by my locker and now at practice too."

"Oh."

The icy gravel beneath our feet crunched percussively. I sped up, got ahead of Cole and started running backwards.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

He scrunched up his face. "Running."

I took his shoulders and we both stood still. He looked anywhere- everywhere but into my eyes.

"Stop," I said. "Breathe. I think maybe we have a bit to talk about."

Moments later, we were drinking hot chocolate in Cole's car outside of a coffee shop. It was the opposite of what my body needed to run a faster race, but the state championship was the furthest thing from my mind. Cole and I reclined against opposite doors. Our shins pressed against each other.

"You know, I expected you to beat me at the homecoming duel," said Cole. "I didn't expect you to destroy me."

"I'm sorry," I said.