My Flower

Chapter 37 - Was This Closure?

~ ~ ~ 1999

Jamison rolled his eyes, becoming frustrated with the lack of privacy the 2 had as he noticed all of her family peering out through the living room window. "Listen Blossom, would you mind accompanying me somewhere more private? That way we can talk without, listening ears nearby." He stated clearly talking towards the people inside.

Blossom silently agreed and took her seat inside of the sleek looking car Jamison showed up in, feeling a sharp jolt as he spread off down the quiet suburban roads. The drive to the coffee shop wasn't too far of a drive, the quaint atmosphere of her and Hunter's many spots calmed her raging nervous down a considerable amount. But not completely. They hadn't talked on the ride over, unlike with Hunter, the silence between the two ex lovers was awkward and tense.

Jamison ordered them both coffee, going off of Blossom's old coffee order from when they dated, simply because he didn't know any different. Little does he know she has never been able to enjoy the sweet taste of a latte without thinking of him.

"Are you going to tell me why you are here now and what you need to say to me?" Blossom snapped, not touching her coffee. The spot they had sat down in was the very table her and Hunter sat at a mere couple days ago. She wondered what Hunter would do right now if he had seen Jamison with her. Most likely getting defensive and wanted to protect her like the day Eli stopped them. The thought threatened a smile but she quickly pushed it down.

Jamison's shoulders slumped. The hope in his eyes died down to reveal, a glimpse of the man he always was, a man so easily dejected by the least of inconveniences. "I've been sending them, the letters, have you really not gotten any?" he said, trying his best to regain his composure. "Well anyways I've been writing to you about...about everything. About how I've finally stood up to my parents, told them I will be an artist, that I refuse to work in the family business, and about how I want to be with you again. I finally convinced them, I told them how much I love you. I told them we're meant to be. But I never got a reply from you, and I was worried, I..." His voice trailed off, his eyes fixed on hers, searching for a flicker of recognition, a sign that his grand gesture hadn't been in vain. "I flew down here to see you myself, to finally talk to you. When I saw your brother answer the door and I knew immediately he wasn't going to let me speak with you but, now..here we are!"

Blossom's mind raced as the information came crashing down upon her. Letters? All this time, she had thought Jamison had moved on, forgotten about her. It felt like a cruel joke, a plot twist in a story she was no longer the author of.

"I...I don't understand," she stammered, shaking her head, trying to clear the sudden fog in her brain. A thousand thoughts swirled around in her head, but one stood out above all others. It was too late. So late.

"It's too late," she said finally, the words like a gentle, almost apologetic, knife. "I can't."

Jamison looked as if she had physically slapped him, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Too late?" he repeated, his voice barely a whisper. "But...but I came for you, Blossom. I told you how much I love you, and how much I want to be with you, that we could be together for the rest of our lives. We could go back to visiting each other durning holiday breaks, live a life of fancy art galas and travel the world and-"

   Blossom cut him off, her gaze firm, though her voice softened with an unexpected amount of sorrow. "Jamison, I want to move on, I mean I have moved on." Her confession hung in the air, heavy with finality.

   The words hit Jamison like a punch to the gut, stealing his breath and leaving him staring at her, his eyes wide with disbelief. His face, one so used to effortless charm, now contorted with pain, the facade that he had meticulously crafted seeming to crumble around him. He looked tired and defeated.

"With whom? Does it happen to be that boy best friend you've had for years?" Jamison questioned hoping he was wrong. A red blush rose to her cheeks even though she tried to hide it. Blossom replied with a short "no"

"That's not very convincing love...so he doesn't know huh?" Jamison added with a small sniffle, trying to disguise the sound as him taking a sip of his coffee.

   When Blossom didn't give him a response he continued on speaking "Is...is there nothing I can do? Nothing at all?" he asked, his voice hoarse, a raw plea escaping his throat. "Can't I convince you? Win you over again?"

   Blossom closed her eyes for a brief moment, memories flashing through her mind like a montage of a past life. The expensive vacations, the world-class art exhibits, those sophisticated galas, all memories of a life that wasn't truly her's. She had lost herself in the whirlwind of Jamison's world, becoming a mere accessory in his picture-perfect life. Their break up really had been for the best, if only she could have seen this sooner and not half a year afterwards when said ex shows up out of the blue.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Hunter without even meaning to, their dates, just the mere thought of their late night drives. The way he made her feel like she was actually living.

   "No, Jamison," she said, her voice soft but firm. "There's nothing you can do. I've changed." But what she really wanted to say was "He changed me."

   Tears pricked at the corners of Jamison's eyes, though he quickly wiped them away, a familiar flash of pride glinting in their depths. He let out a shaky breath, the sound almost like a sob.

   "I suppose...I should wish you all the best then," he said, his voice thick with unshed tears. "If things don't work out...maybe...maybe we could try again?" He looked at her with that same desperate hope, the hint of his former charm still flickering through. "I'm willing to wait."

   A small smile graced Blossom's lips, a sad mix of pity and affection. "That's not necessary. I don't want to hold you back Jamie, have a nice life ok?"

Jamison nodded, a genuine smile finally breaking through the sadness on his face. He offered to drive her home but Blossom didn't like being in his car so she just said she'd walk home. The stood up together; he leaned in, planting a soft kiss on her cheek, then pulled her into a quick, heartfelt hug. "Goodbye, Blossom," he whispered into her hair. "It's been...well, it's been something."

   Blossom watched him walk away, a lump forming in her throat. It was over. Finally, really over. She turned, a sense of strange peace settling over her. She walked along the cracked sidewalk, admiring the buildings and the coziness of her home town. Did this mean she had closure?

Blossom didn't want to dwell on the thoughts that were Jamison any longer. She had too much going on at once, and to throw an ex into the mix would just mess everything up. Blossom wasn't going to worry about him from this point on. Jamison was sorry for everything that had happened as was she, end of story. Perhaps they could remain friends in the future?

What's done is done. You can't change the past, but you can make was your future and Blossom's future wasn't going to be spent crying over Jamison anymore. Now that felt like closure.