Me and the Devil

30.

The drive is silent, suffocating. JJ’s grip on the steering wheel is so tight I’m surprised it doesn’t snap in half. No one speaks not even Sarah, who usually can’t resist a snarky comment. John B looks like he’s bracing for impact, while Kiara stares out the window, her face unreadable. The air inside the Twinkie feels heavy, like we’re all waiting for the inevitable explosion.

When Barry’s rundown trailer looms into view, JJ slams the brakes hard, throwing us all forward. The Twinkie lurches to a stop in the overgrown yard. He’s out the door before the engine has fully sputtered off.

“Yo soy justicia,” JJ mutters as he strides up the steps and into Barry’s trailer without hesitation.

The rest of the Pogues exchange wary glances. John B gives me a look, his eyes sharp with silent accusation: He’s your best friend. Do something. But I ignore it, shoving the door open to follow JJ inside.

The trailer reeks of stale beer and smoke, the kind of place that makes your skin crawl just standing in it. JJ is already rifling through the cabinets, emptying drawers and throwing things aside in a frenzy.

What’s your plan, slick?” I ask, leaning against the doorframe.

To my surprise, he responds. “Well as thou hath stealeth from us, we shall stealeth from ye.”

JJ pushes past me, heading toward the bedroom. I step in front of him, pressing my hands to his chest. “And then what, JJ? What happens after you rob a drug dealer? He knows who we are.”

JJ grabs my wrists, pulling my hands away. “Correction. He knows who YOU are,” he snaps, his voice cutting through the stagnant air.

My chest tightens. “That’s not fair…”

Before I can finish, he storms into Barry’s room. I trail after him, finding his ripping a duffel bag from the closet. When he unzips it, cash spills out like a tidal wave onto the bed.

“Jesus, JJ…”

He doesn’t even fling, already stuffing the money into his backpack.“Aren't you tired of being messed with?” he mutters, his voice tight, trembling with anger.

“JJ, look at me.,” I say stepping closer. “If you keep going down this road, you're going to end up like you dad…”

The words barely leave my mouth before his head snaps up.“You have absolutely no room to talk.” His voice is low, venomous, and it feels like a slap across the face.

Before I can respond, he brushes past me, backpack in hand. Outside, the air feels heavy, charged with unspoken words. JJ spins around on the lawn, his blue eyes blazing with a fury I’ve never seen before.

“You think we don’t know about you and Rafe? Barry just confirmed my suspicions and you’re acting like I’m the problem!”

The accusation knocks the breath out of me. “JJ, I—”

“Don’t lie to me!” he shouts, his voice cracking. “You’ve been sneaking around with him, haven’t you? While we’ve been risking everything for this treasure, you’ve been cozying up to the guy who wants to take us down.”

“JJ, it’s not like that—”

“Then what is it?” he snaps. “Because from where I’m standing you’re just like everyone else. You’re just using us. Using me.”

The words cut deep, sharper than any blade. And the worst part? I can’t deny it.

“That’s not fair,” I whisper, barely able to meet his gaze.

“Life’s not fair,” he says bitterly. “Welcome to my world.”

With that, he turns and storms off, disappearing into the shadows.

Behind me, I hear Pope let out a heavy sigh. “We need to go,” he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck.

Kiara’s eyes dart to me, her lips pressed into a thin line. “What the hell were you thinking?” she snaps, though her tone is more disappointed than angry.

“I wasn’t..” I start, but she shakes her head climbing into the Twinkie without waiting for an explanation.

John B lingers near the van, his arms crossed tightly. “He’s not wrong, you know,” he says softly, not meeting my eyes. “You’ve been…different. Distracted.”

I don’t respond. I can’t.

When I move to follow them into the van, Pope steps in front of the door. His expression grim, his voice quiet but firm. “I think we all need some time.”

My stomach twists as he slides the door shut, locking me out.

I’m left standing alone in Barry’s yard, the sound of the Twinkie’s engine fading into the distance. The summer breeze brushes against my skin, but it does nothing to chase away the chill that settles in my bones.

JJ’s words echo in my mind: You’re just like everyone else.

I don’t know how long I’ve been walking. The streets are quiet, save for the occasional rustle of palm trees in the wind. People at work. At the beach. All oblivious to the chaos I’ve caused in my own life. My feet carry me to the fisherman’s dock, a place that used to feel like home.

I sit on the edge, staring at the water as it ripples beneath the fading sunlight. Memories flood my mind.nJJ teaching me how to skip stones, Kiara lying on her stomach watching turtles sun on the rock, John B planning our next adventure. Pope spouting random facts.

This was our world.

My gaze drifts to the Thornton house. The empty bench in the backyard catches my eye, and I can almost see Rafe standing there, his walls down for just a moment. I think about his vulnerability, the way he looked at me like I was the only thing keeping him grounded.

I turn back to drift my eyes across the ocean, as I remember my kiss with JJ, a mere few hours before I hooked up with Rafe. JJ, the boy I had always wanted.
JJ’s words echo in my head, sharp and unrelenting. You’re just like everyone else.

It wasn’t always like this. I close my eyes, and for a fleeting moment, I’m back on the Cut, sitting on my porch. We were fifteen, and his dad had just gone on one of his benders. JJ sat next to me, staring at the stars like they held the answers to everything.

“You ever think about running away?” he had asked, his voice softer than I’d ever heard it.

“Where would we even go?” I’d replied, nudging him with my elbow.

“Anywhere but here.” He’d grinned then, a rare, real grin that reached his eyes.

“Just you and me.”

I open my eyes, as the memory fades out feeling like a cruel joke.The weight of it all crushes me until I can’t take it anymore. I stand up from the dock and head down the road again, as the sun starts to duck behind the horizon, knowing  I have to fix the only family I have left.