Me and the Devil

34.

The crawl space is suffocatingly dark, the beams of our flashlights cutting through the dust and shadows. JJ’s voice echoes against the decrepit walls, frustration laced with worry.

“John B!” he shouts, crouching near the hidden well. “If you’re down there, man, you better have a damn good excuse for ghosting us!”

Kiara crouches beside him, her flashlight shaking slightly in her grip. Pope moves carefully around the edges, his face tight with focus. I linger near the entrance, my arms wrapped around myself, my eyes tracing the long, jagged lines of the machinery tracks beneath us. They slice through the earth, each groove a reminder of the deep scars inside me. I can feel my stomach knot with guilt, a sickening realization washing over me this might be my fault.

“Guys, I think…” Pope’s voice breaks through my thoughts. “I think he’s down here!”

JJ and Kiara scramble toward the edge of the well as I force myself closer, my heart pounding in time with my hurried steps. Pope’s flashlight finds John B’s face below a pale, dirt-smeared mask staring back at us.

“Son of a bitch,” JJ mutters, leaning down to grab his arm. “John B, you absolute dumbass. What the hell were you thinking?”

John B collapses onto the dirt floor, gasping for breath. His shirt is torn, his hands scraped raw. But it’s the hollow emptiness in his eyes that sends a chill through me.

“It’s gone,” he croaks, his voice raw and broken. “The gold. It’s gone.”

“What?” Kiara’s voice cracks as she drops to her knees beside him. “What do you mean gone? Are you sure?”

John B lets out a bitter laugh, his body shaking with it. "Every goddamn bar." He exhales sharply, his head tilting toward the ceiling. "The whole enchilada."

Pope curses under his breath, spinning away and dragging his hands down his face. JJ’s hands clench into fists, his knuckles white, and he takes a sharp breath, visibly trying to keep his temper in check.

“Damn it!” JJ yells, kicking the pile of dirt next to the well, the vein in his temple ticking. “How the hell did he know?”

The words hang heavy in the air as everyone’s gaze slowly turns toward me.

“What?” I stammer, my voice breaking under the weight of their stares.

“You tell us,” JJ says coldly, his blue eyes burning into mine.

“I…” My voice falters, but I force myself to hold my ground. “I didn’t tell him, JJ.”

JJ takes a step closer, his expression unreadable. "Really?" His voice is sharp enough to cut. "Because last I checked, you were Ward Cameron’s favorite employee." He tilts his head, the sarcasm curling his mouth. "Or wait was it all the pillow talk with Rafe?"

That hits too hard. My heart stutters, but I force myself to stand my ground, to not let the guilt swallow me. “That’s not fair,” I snap, the anger flaring even as my insides churn. “I’m not on their side.”

“Then whose side are you on?” JJ shoots back, his voice rising.

“Yours!” I shout, the word echoing in the confined space. “I chose you! All of you! But you won’t even give me a chance to prove it!”

JJ’s jaw tightens, his chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. Kiara shakes her head, her expression a mix of disappointment and resentment. Pope says nothing, his silence cutting deeper than words ever could.

“I’m going to fix this,” I say, my voice quieter but steady. “I’m going to talk to Ward. I’m going to quit.”

“Quit?” JJ laughs bitterly, running a hand through his hair. “And then what? You think that’s gonna magically fix everything? You think Ward Cameron’s just gonna shrug and hand over the gold?”

“It’s a start,” I say firmly, meeting his gaze.

“Unbelievable,” JJ shakes his head, looking away like he can’t even stand to see me right now. Instead, I head for the exit, my steps heavy with the weight of their disappointment.

The cool night air hits me as I step out of the crawl space, my chest tightening as I take in a shuddering breath. It feels like I’m suffocating, their mistrust closing in on me.

“Wait.”

JJ’s voice cuts through the night, and I stop, but I don’t turn around. His boots crunch against the dirt as he catches up to me, and before I can even react, he grabs my arm, spinning me to face him.

His eyes burn into mine, frustration twisting into something darker, something raw.

“What the hell are you doing?” His voice is strained, desperate.

“I told you,” I say, yanking my arm free. “I’m going to fix this.”

“You think storming into Tannyhill is gonna fix this?” JJ’s chest rises and falls, his fists clenching at his sides. "You think Ward Cameron is gonna care if you quit?" His voice drops to a dangerous whisper. "You think he gives a shit about you? He just walked away with four hundred million dollars in gold, you think he’s sweating your two weeks' notice?"

“It’s not about Ward,” My voice wavers, but I keep my chin high. “It’s about doing something instead of standing around and waiting for everything to fall apart.”

“Oh, so now you’re some hero?” His words are sharp, but his voice cracks, betraying him. “You just spent days cozying up to the Camerons, and now we’re supposed to believe you’re gonna swoop in and save the day?”

“That’s not fair,” I whisper, the sting of his words cutting deep.

“Isn’t it?” JJ steps closer, his blue eyes blazing. “Because we didn’t even know about you and Rafe until yesterday. And now - now you’re running back to them, saying you’re gonna fix this like you’re the only one who can.”

“I’m not running to them, JJ!” My voice trembles as I force myself to hold his gaze. “I’m trying to fix the mess I made.”

“You don’t get it.” JJ shakes his head, dragging a hand through his hair. “I thought you were done with them. With him. But now you’re telling me you can just waltz back in there like nothing’s changed?”

“Nothing has changed!” I shout, my voice echoing in the quiet night. “I chose you. I chose all of you. But I can’t just stand here and do nothing while Ward steals everything from us!”

JJ stares at me, his jaw tight, his chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. “I don’t care about Ward. I don’t care about the gold. I care about you. It feels like you’re choosing them all over again. Like you’re choosing him.”

“It’s not like that, JJ.”  I whisper, stepping closer. 

“Then what is it?” he asks, his voice breaking. “Because it feels like you’re looking for a reason to go back. And I’m standing here, trying to believe you when you say you chose us, but how am I supposed to believe that when you keep leaving?”

Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. “I’m not leaving,” I say firmly. “I’m trying to make this right. For us.”

JJ lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “For us? Or for him?”

“JJ, stop,” I plead, my voice trembling. “I don’t care about Rafe. I care about you.”

His hands drop to his sides, his shoulders slumping. “Then stay,” he says softly. “Stay here and fight with us, not for them.”

“I have to do this,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

JJ stares at me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. Finally, he exhales sharply, stepping back. “Just come back,” he says quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “Whatever happens, just come back.”

“I will,” I promise, though the words feel like they’re ripping me apart.

JJ nods once, then turns and walks away, his steps heavy with everything he hasn’t said. I watch him go, my heart splintering as the weight of his words settles over me.