life vs love

Part 14 {Night confessions and beer}

Night, hour: unknown

They had bought some beers and they were sitting in Judy's balcony gazing over the city that never falls asleep.
"You know I had a best friend back in Daegu." Yoongi confessed.
"Had?"
"He died. Because of overdose. We were friends since High school. When I left Daegu to come to Seoul to chase my dreams he was still the same person. I used to come to Daegu almost every other week to see him. Or he came to me. One night we were in Daegu and were sitting in front of a view. We were talking about our big dreams and aspirations while drinking soju. We were only twenty. Then suddenly we didn't speak for a very long time. I had been trying to contact him for a long time but he didn't answer. Then one night I got a call from an unknown number a phone call. His parents were calling me that he had been arrested in Anyang. The drive there in Seoul detention station in Anyang seemed like eternity. It was a three hour drive. I visited him every week. Every single week I went at the Seoul detention station and visited him by myself three hours to go and three hours to come back. The day of his release I was waiting for him. I was there on that snowy day. He got released. He had changed and after a long time I came to realise the truth. He offered dugs to me. With no hesitation in his widen eyes. Once he offered me I started shouting at him. I cursed him. And I left. I later on found out that after a few days from his release he ended up at the hospital from overdose. He recovered. He had called me that day. I didn't answer. I still hated him. Then after a few months the unknown number called me again and his parents were on the other line. Saying that he had passed away from overdose..." He paused. "For the longest time I blamed myself. That I didn't accept him for who he had become so he turned his interest in drugs to soothe his pain. I blamed myself I didn't stop him. I hated him I thought that he was a monster. What I didn't realise is that we had changed. We both had changed. And it was no one's fault that we changed. But I did blame myself for not being able to see the early signs or stop him once I knew that he was addicted. For the longest time I couldn't forgive myself for shouting and cursing at him." He finished. He sighed deeply. It was the first time he had spoked so openly about his best friend in Daegu. Not even the members knew the whole story.
"By the look of your face I think that im the only one that knows the whole story." Judy observed.
"Yeah... you are."
"You know it helps me sometimes to write about my feelings. And I know that you do it too. It doesn't matter if it comes out as lyrics or as a text. As long as you don't keep your feelings inside of you it helps. Plus I know that you express yourself through music the best so why don't you write and compose a song for him?"
"Your notebook helps. I've been thinking about some things. You know write a song. But I still don't know if I want to write a song so..."
"You can always keep it for yourself. You don't need to release it. Just write and compose it so it's out of your system."
"Thanks..."
"No need to thank me... When you do write something and feel comfortable I wouldn't mind listening to it. No matter what it is."
"I will show you." Yoongi smiled. "You'll be the first one to listen to them."
"I'm glad. Thank you for trusting me though..."
"I should be thanking you for making me to trust you and for giving me a good beer. I'm sure if I hadn't drank couple of beers I wouldn't have told you the whole story."

A bit later

Judy was leaning on Yoongi. She wasn't drunk just tipsy. But mostly tired.
"The funeral is tomorrow at 11am" Judy said.
"Okay."
"The guest room is ready for you."
"Okay."
"Can you stay for a bit with me till I fall asleep?"
"Okay."
"Yoongi will you keep answering with just okay?"
"No."
"He knows two words." Judy mumbled as she got in the covers. She motioned for him to sit next to her. He obediently sat. He wasn't drunk. Far from that. He had a high tolerance in alcohol. But this... Him sitting next to her did not feel exactly right.
"Don't be so tensed." Judy chuckled.
"Fine..."
"Goodnight Yoongs..." He nodded. She drifted to sleep. He brushed away a strand of hair and looked at her resting face.
"Good night Judy. Sleep tight. Hope nothing disturbs your sleep." With that he stood up and left. He went to the guest room. He sat at the desk and started working on his music. He pulled out his notebook. He had already a title for his best friend. 'Dear my friend' Yoongi mumbled. He started working on it a bit before he went to sleep.