East Asian Times!

Language Lover

Alright! It's time to rate the East Asian Languages!

Before that, I would like to remind you all that I bear no ill will, this is purely based on my own opinion, and I pray that you will respect it. Don't call me racist, okay? Please don't be too offended by what I'm about to say, so let's begin.

Starting with... South Korean/한국어... I will put you in... B

Back in the old days, when King Sejong ruled over Joseon Dynasty, his villagers got too tired of being Ming Dynasty's fuckboy. So the king decided they should create their own language, he worked on it all night and day, trying so hard for the good of his citizens. Thus, he created 한글/Hangul and declared from now on, they shall use this alphabet for both Verbal and Written language. They used to write it downwards, luckily, they realized it looked terrible. The structure of every vowel and consonant is usually 80% straight and 20% curved/round like ㅇ, ㅎ, and ㅅ. The only downside this language has now is that... It's really trying to imitate English pronunciation as if South Korea is modernizing it, Icecream is 아이스크림, and Gum is 껌, like... what the fuck. Damn... you can at least make this kaomoji though (OㅅO).

Now for North Korean/문화어, you're going in C.

한글 is a language created during Joseon, Korean Empire's Father and South and North's Grandfather. Although... when North and South got separated, out of spite, North Korea said, "Eugh, I don't want to speak the same language as that betrayer!" and so he changed a few words here and there and finished it to his liking. It's not that vastly different, but with North spreading propaganda claiming this originated from their land and it's their language and South Korea is the one who copied/stole their system, even though it's their grandfather who made it, makes him bit of a narcissist. 

Next up is... Traditional Mongolia/Mongolian Script/ᠮᠣᠩᠭᠣᠯ ᠪᠢᠴᠢᠭ I'm going to put you in D!

Not going to lie, looking at this language makes me want to gauge my eyes out, burn it, bury it, then watch it grow. Its origins were from Turk's old Uyghur, they took it apart and then reassembled it. Instead of writing it in the right direction, they wrote it down, which makes it 4x more troublesome to read. Did I also mention it was hard to read? Well it is, you have to read it inside your mind, and speak it in its correct form, a language that really makes your brain work. Because it was made way back into its Empire days, the language was spread to some places and in return came back in various shapes which I definitely don't want to explain for the life of me. Luckily, Mongolia's current use is a godsend.

Mongolian/Монгол хэл, B

Cyrillic version of Mongolian, back when the Russians first introduced their alphabets to Mongolians. Due to Mongolia once being a socialist country, there was no doubt they would've adapted to using Cyrillic. They added 2 new vowels such as Үү and Өө to better pronounce foreign dialects. Even after USSR collapsed, they continue to use it and consider it their native alphabet. The government is trying to enforce their people to go back to their roots and use Script language, but the people refuse (For good reasons). The drawback is that the language wasn't always so fixed, sometimes Mongolian Vocabulary changes, and they need the president to decide what word needs readjusting. For example, Color is changed to Colour, both sound the same but not written. 

What's next? ...Ah yes, Japanese/日本語, F!

To put it simply.

Japan: Hey, can I copy your homework?

China: Sure, just make sure to change a few things.

Their language is the definition of plagiarism, they use Chinese Kanji, change/add a few strokes and dots, and figured they could get away with it. And we all know back then Japan was a locked country, they wouldn't let any travelers come in without reason. Sure they have Katakana/カタカナ and Hiragana/ひらがな, the most sexist alphabet ever! I can't believe there was a time when Kata was used for males and Hira was used for Females! Like how fucked up do you have to be to make genderized alphabets? Despite those 2 obscure alphabets, it still wasn't enough, as some words were getting too stretched out, making it exhausting to finish reading. So they decided they should also steal some things from Korea! Seriously, 약속(Yagsug) means promise 約束(Yakasuku) also means promise. Its origin History sucks, the structure is hard to write, and it's just bad in general...

But it's quite entertaining when spoken, and adds a few zest to every sentence, so I'll give it 1 point for that.

Last but not least, Chinese/中國人, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... A!

It's rich in history, way too much for explanation. The country China is like a vase, and inside there is water/Language. Through time, it gets broken, reassembled, and broken again just to be glued back in pieces only to be cracked later. Astonishingly, with each fix, the Chinese language gets so complicated that it needs to be split into many groups like Cantonese, Hunanese, and Mandarin (Named after a fruit). Those were just the popular ones; there are still hundreds more where that came from. Taiwanese Hokkien is Taiwan's language, but if there ever is a future where the two unite, Taiwanese will be just another accessory for China to use.