East Asian Times!

North Korea

A grumpy Korean was making a ruckus in the studio!

North Korea: AGh! Where the heck am I supposed to go!?

Author: North! Over here!

North Korea: Oh... Sheesh, took me hours to find this room. So what do you want?

Author: Hah, straight to the point, eh? Well, people are intrigued by your character design, so they asked some questions regarding your hostile behavior. 

North Korea: Who? Who are they? Who wants to know?!

Author: I'm not saying any names here, but you should answer my questions anyway.

North Korea: If it means I'll leave faster, then ask ahead.

Author: Okay! Now, you're the most negative among the group. Why is it that you look at the bad side of everything?

North Korea: If you look at the problematic side of the aspect, then it would be much easier to find a solution. My brother thinks everything will turn out fine; he's wrong, if you prepare yourself for whatever may come, then nothing will catch you off guard.

Author: So insecure. Is that your mechanism to shield yourself from people who care about you?

North Korea: Pfft, like who?

Author: Well, the East Asians, your friends, they seem to care a lot about you. Especially South Korea, he seems to be the one more connected with you.

North Korea: Tsk, I know he's faking it, he's just trying to take over me, inching closer by the day. I won't let that happen ever again!

Author: What about China? Isn't he... sort of your caretaker?

North Korea: He's looking after me because he has to, he doesn't care about me! If he had a choice, he would've let me die by now, his masquerade doesn't fool me! He's a backstabber and a liar! I know he'll turn on me once I go off the fritz! IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME!

Author: Geez, calm down. Now, during EA Adventures, it is rumored that you had a liking to Japan. Is that true?

North Korea: U-Uhm... No, I don't...

Author: Well, Japan and South are good buddies.

North Korea: I-I'm not jealous, who said anything about being jealous?

Author: Ah, okay? So, how do you feel about them getting along? I know you had a bad history with Imperial Japan.

North Korea: Her father was a sadistic murderer, he kidnapped me and my brother! Yet... I don't think I should blame her because of it.  

Author: Alright, so how do you feel about Taiwan?

North Korea: I don't care about China's brother, he's practically invisible, and we rarely talk, or hang out. What I don't like about him is that he's working with USA. God, I hate that motherfucker!

Author: You sure have an intense resentment towards America.

North Korea: HE'S A TOTAL ASSHOLE! I have no idea how someone as idiotic as him could turn into a global powerhouse. He helped my brother defend against me! I could've been the best Korea, but he just had to interfere with family business! So nosy. At least China and I have something in common, we both hate him.

Author: So... you have trust issues, and the only country you somehow like is Japan... What about Mongolia?

North Korea: Mongolia? Hmm... well... he's been looking after me for years. We both met during the great socialist meeting, he was a silent type which I liked about him. I don't know what he was before, but thinking about him now, he sure has changed a lot. I-I don't know, the guy is a hard one to read, I can't tell if he's being genuinely nice... or... if he wants something from me... Then again, I have nothing to give him. I don't understand.

Author: You often show violent behavior, and seldom burst at countries trying to make a conversation with you. Do you think you act this way just to push others away or is that your own way of protecting yourself?

North Korea: I purposely make countries hate me so I won't feel bad when they do. Making friends isn't my strong suit, okay? I have... issues.

Author: That's good, admitting to it is the first step. I think we have all the questions uncovered, you can go.

North Korea: Finally!