Two chapters today as a apology for not updating!
Big Tw: Ed, depression
____________________________________________________
I pushed the bedroom door open, expecting to see Taylor curled up in her usual spot, but the bed was empty. My heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, the silence felt deafening.
“Taylor?” I called out, my voice trembling. No response.
Panic began to claw at my chest as I noticed the bathroom door slightly ajar. I stepped closer, knocking hesitantly. “Taylor? Are you in there?”
Nothing.
The silence pressed against my ears, and dread filled every corner of my mind. I pushed the door open slowly, my hands shaking.
And there she was.
Lying on the cold tile floor, her body limp, her skin pale. My breath caught in my throat as the world seemed to tilt around me.
“TAYLOR!” I screamed, the sound tearing from my chest like a raw, desperate plea. I fell to my knees beside her, my hands trembling as I reached for her.
“Please, no, no, no,” I begged, my voice cracking. I pressed my fingers to her neck, searching frantically for a pulse. For one horrifying second, I couldn’t feel it—but then, faint and weak, it was there.
Relief and terror crashed into me all at once, tears blurring my vision as I grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently. “Taylor, wake up! Please, wake up! It’s me, Y/N! You have to wake up!”
She didn’t move.
“TAYLOR!” I screamed again, my voice raw, shaking her harder now. The sound of my cries echoed off the walls, but there was no answer.
I pressed my forehead against hers, sobbing uncontrollably. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t leave me. I can’t lose you, Taylor. I can’t.”
Her body felt so fragile under my hands, and every second that passed felt like a lifetime. I gripped her hand tightly, as if holding her would tether her to me, keep her from slipping further away.
“Taylor, please,” I whispered, my tears falling onto her lifeless skin. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Please don’t leave me.”
The sound of my heart pounding in my ears drowned out everything else. Time seemed to freeze as I sat there, clutching her, praying for any sign of life beyond that faint pulse.
And then, ever so faintly, she stirred.
Her eyelids fluttered, and her lips parted slightly. “Y/N…” she croaked, her voice barely audible.
I let out a sob of relief, cradling her face in my hands. “I’m here, Taylor. I’m here. You’re going to be okay.”
But the look in her eyes—the pain, the exhaustion—cut through me like a knife. I knew this wasn’t over. Not even close.
"I-I just wanted to pee. But I fainted", she whsipered. "It's okay", I mumbled, before helping her up. She was trembling, as she slowly got up. "Can you- uhm I need t-" she blushed and I could see her eyes getting teary again.
"It's okay", I helped her walking over to the toilet. My hands wandered to her waist to stabilise her, as she slid her sweatpants down.
After helping her off the floor, I could see just how fragile she’d become. Her legs trembled beneath her as I tried to steady her, her weight feeling lighter than ever. She couldn’t walk on her own, so I guided her to the sink, holding her upright as her body leaned heavily against mine.
“Just a little at a time, Taylor,” I murmured, grabbing her toothbrush. Her head drooped forward, her eyes half-closed as though even standing was too much. I carefully brushed her teeth, each stroke a painful reminder of how much she’d faded. She didn’t resist, but the lifelessness in her movements tore at my heart.
When I finished, I turned on the shower, letting the warm water cascade over both of us as I supported her frail body. I washed her hair, her skin, all the while whispering gentle reassurances she didn’t respond to. Afterward, I dried her off and dressed her like a child who couldn’t manage it herself.
Finally, I scooped her into my arms again, holding her close as I carried her downstairs. Her body felt so thin, like she could break apart in my hands. Each step was harder than the last, my chest aching with the weight of helplessness.
As we entered the kitchen, I saw Gracie and Andrea sitting at the table. Their faces froze in shock when they saw Taylor, their eyes wide with disbelief. She hadn’t left her room in days, and now, seeing her like this—hollow, gaunt, a shell of the vibrant woman she’d been—was almost too much for any of us to bear.
I sat down on a chair, pulling Taylor onto my lap like she was made of glass. Her head rested weakly against my shoulder, her breaths shallow and uneven. “Taylor,” I whispered softly into her ear, my voice trembling, “can you eat? For me?”
She didn’t answer at first, her eyes staring blankly ahead. Finally, she muttered, “I don’t know.”
Gracie stepped forward hesitantly, placing a plate of food on the table in front of us. Taylor barely reacted, her gaze fixed somewhere far away. I picked up a fork, my hand shaking as I stabbed a small tomato and brought it to her lips.
“Taylor,” I whispered again, my voice thick with emotion. “Do it for me. Please.”
Her eyes met mine, and for a moment, I saw a flicker of desperation—a small, fragile spark trying to fight against the darkness that had consumed her. Slowly, hesitantly, she opened her mouth and took the bite.
Tears welled in my eyes as I whispered, “I’m so proud of you.”
Something shifted. Taylor’s hand suddenly reached out, trembling, as she grabbed the fork from me. She stared at the plate in front of her, and then, as if a dam had broken, she began to eat.
Her movements were frantic, almost primal, like a starving hunter who’d finally found sustenance after weeks of famine. Each bite was ravenous, her hands shaking as she shoveled the food into her mouth.
Gracie and Andrea exchanged stunned glances, their own eyes glistening with tears. I held Taylor tightly as she ate, feeling her frailty in my arms, but also sensing the faintest glimmer of life returning to her.
When the plate was empty, she slumped against me, her breathing heavy, her body exhausted. But for the first time in days, there was a flicker of something—hope, perhaps—lingering in her tired eyes. I kissed her temple, holding her closer than ever.
“You did so well, Taylor,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “You’re so strong. You’re going to be okay. I’m here. Always.”
She didn’t respond, but I felt her fingers curl slightly into my shirt, holding onto me as if I was her lifeline. And in that moment, I vowed I’d fight with her every step of the way.
Taylor looked around, facing her Mom. "I-Iam sorry Momma", tears started to roll down her cheeks. Andrea stood up and walked over to her. "It's okay Babygirl", she whispered.
"What about you and I watch a movie? Like we used to when you were young?" She asked her. Taylors eyes lightened a bit up and she gave Andrea a soft nood. She stood up.
Way to fast, so she nearly tripped over, but I catched her and pressed her against me. Andrea wrapped an arm around Taylor and helped her walking into the living room.
I dropped the stool and covered my face with my hands. "Y/N you also need a break. You can't heal Taylor if it takes all of your energy's. You even stopped your Training to help her", Gracie said, handing me a hot chocolate.
"She fixed me when I was on my lowest", I started. "And it breaks my heart seeing her like this. So Iam going to fix her. Taylor is the love of my life. I love her so fucking much."
YOU ARE READING
I want you. | Taylor Swift x Female Reader
Fanfiction"So you're the new student", she said with a cold tone. Her tongue slid over her red lipstick, before she glanced down at me. Immediately I catched myself feeling submissive. "Uhm yeah Iam Y/N Y/L/N", I answered trying not to give in her blue eyes...
