Yours Musically

53. PDA Who?

Chapter Fifty Three - PDA Who?

I was grabbing a textbook from my locker when someone tapped on it. I shut it to discover Matt standing there in his jersey, one hand on the lockers beside him and the other resting over his hip as he stared down at me with a little frown.

"Hey!" I smiled in confusion. "Are you done with practice?"

"I am." He scrutinized my face, then asked after a pause, "where were you? Ten minutes into the game, I looked over at the bleachers and you were gone."

"Oh, I went to the library. To read stuff." I pointed towards my books. "I thought if I'd made it to school early, why not use that time, right?"

It took him a second to nod at me. I could tell something was bothering him, like he wanted to say something but was on the fence about it. He finally exhaled and said, "I gotta go change. I'll see you during lunch."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." His tone was dismissive.

He took a step back and turned around to leave but I quickly ran past him and lifted an arm to the lockers beside us to block his way.

"You don't look okay." I raised a brow.

He crossed his arms over his chest and held me in a silent stare, eyes accusing me of something I could not figure out.

"What is it, Matt? How am I gonna know what's wrong if you don't tell me?"

"You wanna hear it? Fine!" My eyes widened in surprise when he advanced towards me and cornered me against the lockers. "I just find it a little absurd that you could sit through the entire practice for Sean every day but you can't do the same for me for one single day."

My jaw dropped in surprise. "Matt, that's—"

"Look, I'm just fine practicing without you, always have been. I want to see you there but it's not like you have to sit through that for me. I just mean you did it...before and now, you suddenly wanna use that time to study? You know what's even more absurd?" He raked a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Me complaining about it, which is why I didn't wanna say anything but I don't know what I'm gonna do with your stubborn ass."

"Oh God!" I shut my eyes for a moment, shaking my head. "Matt, you've got to stop comparing the things I did for him to the things I do for you. I was an idiot back then. A desperate idiot."

He scoffed. "Not gonna argue with that."

My eyes narrowed for a second but I decided to let that go and exhaled slowly. "But there's a difference between desperation and intention. I was desperate for his attention. But every single thing that I've done ever since I've caught feelings for you, every action of mine that concerns you has been...intentional. I've done it willingly. Because I wanted to. No obligations. Is that not enough?"

His eyes softened and I took that as my cue to step closer to him.

"Back then, I would've done anything to impress him. But you, I've never had to impress you, you know?"

A pensive look fell in his eyes as he tilted his head a fraction. "I honestly don't know if that's a good thing or not."

"I'm just trying to say that without even realizing, I found this comfort zone with you that I never would've found with Sean—or anyone else. And that's not the only reason why I... like you. There's a lot more. Now, is that a good thing?"

For a moment, he just gazed into my eyes and then, the corners of his mouth tugged back into a smile like he'd won a battle and he nodded. "It's a very good thing."