New England, New Romance

Chapter 12

The next morning dawned too soon but Laney felt surprisingly well rested. She joined her parents on the porch for coffee.

"Your dad and I were thinking about going out to breakfast, but only if you aren't going for a run."

Laney wanted to sit and savor her coffee as she always did before a run. This was her mother's way of doing things; I wanted to do this but I will be a martyr for you if you want to take care of your needs over mine. Laney had some of the same passive aggressive traits. Maybe that is what drove Jeff away? I hope my boys don't inherit our bad habits. Jeff had a lot of wonderful qualities, he was thoughtful, smart, a great planner, he encouraged and supported her, and he always knew when she needed him. Like she needed him now... Laney squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose. She would not cry now. She inhaled deeply and looked at her mother.

"Please go and enjoy yourself. Thank you so much for staying with the boys last night. I really enjoyed listening to the music."

"It was so loud. Those poor boys; they will sleep for a long time. I hope this is not a regular thing. Did you check that before you rented this place?"

"No, I didn't Mom. That thought never occurred to me. I am pretty sure it was a one time deal."

Laney relished the alone time after her parents left. Her brain was running scenarios about Matt. Art and music would clear her head. She set up in the kitchen with the easel. With no plan in place Laney started the music, squirted out her colors and considered the canvas. She had a beautiful cobalt blue that was aching to be the foundation of her piece. Once that was on the center of the canvas she started playing with colors and the mixtures she was creating were all on point. She was not unhappy with anything this morning. She grabbed an angled tip brush and picked up the bright yellow. She applied it in a swirl pattern in the middle of the almost full canvas. She was rewarded with wonderful striations and a gorgeous green in places. She stepped back, leaning against the counter, for a new view of her work.

Now that her brain was not completely engrossed in creating she heard the words playing in her ears. Laney lunged for her phone and hit skip as quickly as possible. She loved that Stacy Barthe song, 'To Be Loved' but the chorus cut her to her core.

"There's nothing more I'd rather be
Than to be loved, loved by you
I don't know nothing, nothing more
Than to be loved, loved by you
That's all I ever knew
That's all I ever know, yeah
That's all I ever knew"

Tears were spilling down her cheeks before Laney could stop them. She met Jeff freshman year of college they dated and broke up but after a couple of months they were back together for good. Or so she thought. He was the only person she had ever loved; "us" that had been her whole world. They had grown up together. First loves, first jobs, first apartment and then house, first new car... first divorce. First heartbreak.

The pins and needles in her cold, numb legs forced Laney to pull herself up off the floor. She wiped her tears away just as Jackson entered. That was a close call.