ALIVE [H.S]

Prologue

"What do you mean you're pregnant?" Thomas asked. I could hear the desperation in his voice and I could feel it when he slowly took a step back. "I don't know how it happened." I admitted. And I didn't. I was on birth control and nothing ever went wrong. I had no idea how this could have happened, but it did. "I'm sorry." I whispered. I looked up to see Thomas walking towards the window of my room. I wanted to say something, but I had no idea what to say. Nothing I said would make it any less messed up. I stood up from my bed and walked over to the window where he was staring outside into nothing. "How do you feel about it?" I was so afraid to ask, but I had to know if I was going to be doing this on my own or not. We had only been together for three months when, well, this happened, so I would totally understand it if he chose to leave. He sighed as he turned around to look at me. He was beautiful. He had deep blue eyes and dark blond hair that fell messy over his forehead. I was so lucky. "I love you and this is not only your fault. We're in this together." He said and he pulled me in for a hug. I sighed in relief but I felt the tears burn in the corner of my eyes. "Thank you." I breathed as I looked up at him. The sweet smell of his cologne and breath made me relax a bit. I wanted to stay like this forever, but he pulled away and walked over to the door. "Shall we go downstairs?" he asked with sorrow in his eyes. "We still have to tell your parents." I froze. Oh god my parents. I totally forgot about them. They are going to be so disappointed and just thinking about having to tell them made my stomach turn. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to say it." I admitted as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I would do anything to skip this part. My parents are quite conservative and always told me to wait until marriage, but I was a rebellious teenager. I don't know why I wanted to do everything I wasn't allowed to do so badly, but I did. I hurt my parents so many times and I don't think they have the strength to go through another disappointment. "This is gonna crush them." I cried as I sat back down on the bed with my head in my hands. "I can't do it Thomas. How am I ever gonna tell them that what they warned me about so many times actually happened?" I felt horrible. I seriously wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I looked up when I felt his hand on my shoulder pulling me against his chest. "It's gonna be fine baby." He whispered. But I knew it wasn't. This was the last thing I could have done wrong and I knew it was going to break their hearts. "Do you wanna stay here a little longer?" He asked. I nodded and took a deep breath as I closed my eyes. Comforted by his gentle touch and strokes I fell asleep against his chest. This was enough for one day. Everything that needed to be said and done could wait until tomorrow. All I wanted right now was to be here with him and sleep.

The next morning I woke up with a nauseous feeling and I jumped up from the bed to sprint to the bathroom. Damn morning sickness.
"Are you okay in there?" Thomas yelled from my room. "Yeah I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute!" I yelled back. I sat down and leaned against the bathtub. It felt like I had been in a roller coaster twenty times in a row and even throwing up couldn't take that nauseous feeling away. After I drank some water and brushed my teeth, I went back in to my bedroom where Thomas was laying in my bed. I looked at him as he had his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. He had fallen back to sleep. I sat down at the edge of the bed still feeling sick. I thought about what was gonna happen today. My parents will be surprised when they see me come down the stairs with Thomas. There was a strict no-boys-sleeping-over-in-the-same-room rule, so they were not going to be happy about this. I knew I had to tell my parents about the pregnancy today. And it made me even more nauseous than I already was. I stood up and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water took a bit of the nausea away and I felt slightly better when I walked out of the bathroom and back into my room. Thomas was already dressed and his hair was messy. Just the way I liked it. After I got dressed and tugged my long dark brown hair into a ponytail, I looked at Thomas with an encouraging smile. "Shall we?" I said as I nervously started to pull the hem of my shirt. "Here goes nothing." Thomas said as he opened my bedroom door. When we came downstairs into the living room. I saw my dad in his chair with his laptop in his lap. "Morning dad." I said quietly as I continued to make my way to the kitchen. My mom was in the kitchen making tea when we walked in. "Morning baby." She said as she turned around. "Oh hello Thomas. I didn't know you would be here so early this morning. I would've dressed more appropriately." She said with a smile. Her striped pajamas looked big around her body. My mom was not that tall. She had dark hair and blue eyes and was slightly on the bigger side. "I didn't know I was coming either." Thomas answered with a smile. After my mom had prepared breakfast we all sat down at the dinner table. I nervously played with my breakfast while everyone else was just eating theirs. "Something wrong?" My dad asked as he looked at me with a weird expression on his face. I looked at Thomas for help, but our eyes didn't meet.
"Actually, yes." I said. I knew it was now or never and I gathered all my courage and I looked at my parents who were sitting across from me and Thomas. "Spill." My dad said as he took another bite of his French toast. "I.. Uhm..I.." I couldn't find the words. I looked at their not knowing faces and I wanted to protect them from being hurt by me again, but I couldn't keep this secret forever. "I'm pregnant." I whispered and immediately I looked down at my plate.
"You're what?!" My mom yelled as she shoved her seat back and stood up. Her face had gone tomato red in two seconds and I was kind of surprised at how fast she went from calm to momzilla. "I'm sorry. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am." I cried. I looked up at my dad and saw him looking at Thomas. He was furious. Thomas kept staring at his plate avoiding my dads hateful look. "How far along are you?" My mom asked slightly calmer this time. "Around ten weeks I think." I said looking up at her. She was still standing with her arms crossed. I looked at her and saw her eyes water. "Please don't cry mom." I begged. I felt the aching pain in my chest as I looked at her. The woman who took such great care of me and loved me unconditionally just broke right in front of me and it was my fault. "What do you expect me to do? Smile? Congratulate you?" She said with a shaky voice. "You are seventeen years old for gods sake! You have your whole life ahead of you and you just tossed it out the window!" I didn't know how to respond. I know she was right but something about the way she said it made me want to defend myself. "I was careful." I whispered.
"You should have just saved yourself until marriage like we told you too!" My dad finally spoke. "You are my baby how can you do this to us?" He asked with desperation in his voice. "It's not like I did it on purpose." I said. I was getting a bit agitated. They sounded like I wanted this to happen. Like I wanted to throw my future away. "Do you think that this isn't hard for me as well? Or Thomas? Do you think I wanted to mess everything up?" I raised my voice. "I am the one who has to deal with this now you know!" I yelled as I stood up from the table. I felt Thomas grab my arm but I jerked it away. I walked up to the staircase and turned around to see everyone look at me in shock. "This is not what I wanted either." I said as I turned around and walked up the stairs to my bedroom. I slammed the door shut and threw myself on the bed. I felt the tears starting to burn in my eyes and decided just to let them go. I was angry and upset at my parents for acting like this and I was mad at Thomas for not speaking up to defend me. I knew it was going to be hard to tell my parents, but I didn't think it would be this hard. I heard footsteps on the stairs and shortly after I heard a knock at my door. "Can I come in?" My mother asked with a small voice. I didn't answer but she came in anyway and sat down on my bed. "I'm sorry baby. I know you didn't do this on purpose and that it is hard on you too." She said looking at me with compassionate eyes. She pulled me up and took me into her warm embrace. As I felt my moms arms wrap around me the tears started streaming down my face. "I'm so sorry mom. I never wanted to hurt you and dad like this!" I cried. She didn't say anything. She just sat there holding me and I knew it was going to be okay. She would forgive me eventually. Right now I just wanted her to hold me like she did when I was younger. I felt safe and for a moment I forgot we were fighting just minutes ago. She was my mom and she would forgive me because she loved me. She had to.