ALIVE [H.S]

Twenty

Harry's POV

No. She did not just say that. Fuck. How am I ever going to respond? I don't know if I love her. I don't even know if I'm capable of loving someone. I don't even know how to treat a girl like this right. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

"So, are you gonna say something?" She whispered with a weak smile.

"I ehm.. Rose I don't know if I can say this back to you right now.." I said looking at her.

Disappointment flashed through her eyes and I felt a sting in my chest.

"I don't even understand how you could love me, Rose." I whispered.

"I don't understand it either." She calmly said and the way she said it kind of hurt.

"I just know that I do and that I never thought I would after Thomas. But I would understand if it scared you off." She said as she walked to the door.

I wanted to call her back, but what was I gonna say?

"I'm sorry." Was the only thing I could say.

She nodded and gave me a weak smile before opening the door and walking out. I really didn't want her to leave, but the only way to make her stay was to say those words and I couldn't do that. I can't love. I was never thought how to love a woman. My dad wasn't exactly a good role model.
But this girl, she makes me wanna know how to love. I feel weird about her and I can't describe the feelings I have for her. Maybe I did love her, but until I was sure I just couldn't say the words.
I was brought back to reality when I heard my phone ring. I walked over to the table and picked up.

"Yeah?" I answered. It was Niall.
"So, did you tell her?" He asked. Fuck. The whole Thomas issue.

"No I didn't really get the chance. Niall she just told me she loved me and I couldn't say it back."

"Well do you love her?"

"I don't know. And even if I did after I tell her about Kenya she'll hate me forever."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was never going to be able to tell her what I knew and it ate away at me. I can't lose her even though I don't really have her.

"You're gonna have to tell her sometime, Harry." He said and I knew he was right, but he was fucking annoying me right now.

I don't want him to tell me that I have to tell her something that will break her.

"How am I supposed to say this? How do I tell her that I was there when he got his accident? That I was probably responsible? How do I tell her that Niall?!" I screamed over the phone.

I was frustrated with the whole situation. The feelings I had for this girl I just couldn't lose. She made me a better person. I can't remember a time where I hadn't been an complete ass to everyone for so long. I needed her. I loved her. Fuck, maybe I did actually love her. God this is all just too complicated.

"I gotta go Niall." I said and I hung up.

What was I supposed to do with myself. I couldn't handle all these issues right now. I sat down as I ran my hand through my curls. "Fuck!" I screamed as I kicked at the coffee table. I got up, grabbed my keys and walked out.
Day drinking it is.

Rose's POV

I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. Why was I so fucking stupid? I shouldn't have said the words to him. I could've known he wouldn't say it back. I look like a complete idiot now. And what was up with him freezing about the whole Thomas thing? It was all just so weird. I rubbed my temple with one hand as I drove to the mall. I needed some time to think things over. I still felt the same about Harry, but I knew this was gonna be hard.