The moment that everything changed

Something wrong?

The moment Theo came around it became worse. There's something off about him, and his story. The peaces just don't fit in the puzzle ( Okay, now i'm sounding like a bad detective but it's true, that it just isn't right). I know the Theo from 4th grade, okay but this isn't Theo. I'm gonna figure it out with or without my friends.
"Stiles, you're the one who always figures it out" these words keep playing in my head, because Lydia said them.That's not the only thing that has been playing in my head, when isn't anything playing in my head right? But this is different, i think about Lydia every time, her face, her pink lips, her green eyes, her strawberry blond hair. Urgghh, i just keep thinking about her and it's not just thinking. I've got this strong need to be with her all the time, so i can protect her from harm (especially from Theo!). But it's so wrong i'm with Malia now, Right? I shouldn't have these feelings for her, i mean i should have these feelings because she's my friend but not this strong. Jesus,i think i'm losing my mind again.
There are other things i worry about. I know i should be worrying about my senior year, about college but i can't.
I think it happened a couple of weeks after the Nogitsune was gone, it should've been over right? Well, guess not. I still have the nightmares, the anxiety (More than my usual), the guilt that i harmed so much people and that i killed the love of my best friend, Allison. Scott tells me that it wasn't really me, hell everybody tells me it wasn't really me. But what if it was?, i liked it. I liked the part that i was in control, that i felt powerful. So what if it was me who killed all those people, including Allison. Am i the monster than?
But what worries me the most is this constant ache in my body, i first thought that i was still healing but it's a different ache than i had when the Nogitsune drained me. I feel it everywhere, especially my eyes, hands and teeth.
Maybe i'm just being paranoid? But what if i'm not, what if somethings wrong, what if the Nogitsune is still in my mind, what if.....

Breath in.Breath out..

"Stiles?"

I can't breath, shit stiles focus...

"Stiles, whats wrong?"

I can't focus, i have to get out! I-i can't breath.

"Stiles! Ssshhh it's okay, look at me." "You can do it."
"Breath with me ,Stiles"
"In........Out"

In.....Out, In.....Out.

"That's it"
"Good, keep going"

I can breath again little by little, my eyes come into focus and i can see her clearer. Her beautiful green eyes, pink lips and strawberry blond hair.

"Lydia"