Taylor swift mother imagines

you feel suicidal part 2

REQUESTED BY THE BEAUTIFUL - leo_swift 13!!

enjoy my loves xx 

TW: $elf harm (topics surrounding that) stay safe please loves, my dms and comments are always open xx 

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13 years.

13 years without you.

There isn't a day that goes by that Taylor doesn't think about you. She felt sick, disgusted in herself. How could she be so stupid? To realize her baby was struggling, struggling so much that she had to end her life because Taylor wasn't listening to her, she was sick of herself. She didn't leave the house for weeks, months.

She had nothing to live for anymore, you were her everything. Everything she does reminds you of her, your school, her car, the studio.

She can't go anywhere without seeing your face. She hasn't touched your room, in fear that she will forget about you. She has folders of you on her phone, photos hung up in the office, her room, everywhere. She misses you so much, so goddamn much.

One night, a few months after you had passed, Taylor got drunk. For the first time in months since her friend and family took all the alcohol and pain med you guys had in the house, in case you tried something after you passed.

But she managed to get her hands on some whisky and drank the entire bottle and some. Somehow she ended up in a bar at 1 in the morning and had a 1 night stand with some guy called travis. He was sweet, super hot but that wasn't the point.

Taylor felt sick, again. She shouldn't be out having sex, drinking and laughing all when you were lying in a grave over what she did. So she forgot about him, forgot about the unprotected sex and everything. Needless to say, Taylor hasn't forgotten about you, and never will.

"Mom, i'm going to Daisy's" Liliana calls from the stairs.

"Ok love, please be safe" Taylor tells her, walking into the kitchen.

"Yes I know mom, I'm fine" she rolls her eyes, before leaving the house.

Liliana was your half sister, Travis's daughter. Yep, that '1 night stand' turned into a baby, which turned into Liliana.

Taylor wasn't happy at first, she didn't deserve another baby or a second chance. But when travis had told her to fuck of and never call her again because he didnt have time to deal with her and her baby issues she knew she could abandon lilly and had to give her a chance at life.

Liliana doesn't know about you, she knows she had a sister but she doesn't know what happened to you. Taylor was planning to tell Lily when she was older but it never seemed like the right time.

Taylor walked up the stairs, after saying 'goodbye' to Liliana, going to your room. She had a ritual with you, she would go in, light a candle and sit. Sit and think, think about memories, think about you.

She missed you so much. "Hi baby" Taylor sat down on the floor, leaning against the door. "Today is your birthday" Taylor wipes, tears welling up in her eyes. "13 years my love" she cries. "Oh baby, i'm so sorry" taylor cries, but it's no use, no amount of sorry's would bring you back.

A couple hours later, Taylor said goodbye to you, turning the candle off and walking back downstairs to make dinner for her and Liliana. "Hey love" Taylor smiles as Liliana walks through the door.

"Hi mom" she smiles, placing her bag on the table and lifting her jumper a little more on her shoulders. "How was Daisy's?" Taylor asks, setting the chicken out for dinner. "Fine" she fixes her jumper again, getting comfortable on the chair.