Wayward Wolf

Back Again

Evelyn

The first thing Ray did when we got home was call his brother. It would've been nice if Frankie had been there himself when things were discussed, but I doubt he and Trav can sit in the same room without ripping each other's throats out. Ray told him what was going on and Frankie told him that he'd be there if we needed him. Then he hit on me and Ray cussed him out before hanging up on him.

I can barely sleep when we make it to bed. Ray is laying between my legs, arms wrapped around my waist and head resting on my chest. He told me it was the only way that I can thrash as much as I like and not hit him, though I know he also likes it. It does help me sleep because my ass is so big that laying on my back isn't the most comfortable and his arms propping up my lower back help.

Running my fingers through his hair, I contemplate the unintended consequences of my actions. The events of that night run through my head on repeat and I wonder if there's anything I could've done differently to avoid this. I can't say I wish I hadn't done it because if I had let Mark die, it would've gone against everything I believe in. There's a pledge you take as a nurse and part of it is caring for those who need help no matter who they are or where they may be. I did my duty, but now other people may pay the price. He threatened Ray and if anything happens to him because of me, I'll never forgive myself. Already he's been through so much, his stepfather trying to kill him, losing his sight, and spending so many years on his own. All he deserves is love and happiness and now I've brought so many issues with me.

Guilt has never been an emotion I handle well. Once, when I was seven, I accidentally kicked Eli in the face when the twins were trying to get me to wrestle with them. He had a black eye for a week, and I cried myself to sleep from the guilt until it went away. All I try to do is make people happy because it makes me happy. And now someone might get hurt because of something I did.

Ray's breathing begins to grow heavy and rapid, and he mumbles under his breath. It's another nightmare. He hadn't had one all weekend and I wondered if he'd have another one. Wrapping my legs around his waist and squeezing, I rub my hands across his bare shoulders and bury my nose in his hair. Despite doing my best, Ray wakes with a start after a few moments and digs his fingers into my sides.

"It's okay, baby," I tell him barely above a whisper. "Go back to sleep."

"Did I wake you?"

Pursing my lips, I stare up at the ceiling and contemplate lying. Nope, I can't do it. "No, I was awake. Can't sleep."

With a sigh, he sleepily lifts his head and brings his tired eyes to my face. "Evelyn, you're a good woman and you did your best to help someone that needed you. None of what he does after is your fault."

For someone that can't read body language and claims to be socially inept, he seems to know exactly how I'm feeling. I cup his cheeks in my palms and look over every plane of his face, his high cheekbones, that permanent wrinkle between his dark brows from how often he has them furrowed, and how black his eyes look in the dark.

"Thank you."

He drops his head back on my chest and mutters, "Now go to fucking sleep."

There it is. Back to being a grump like usual. But as he tucks his head under my chin and melts against me when I run my fingers through his hair, I realize I don't care what the stalker plans to do. Whatever he does, I plan on spending every night like this for the rest of my life.

***

We decided yesterday that after I got off work, Ray, Trev, and I would drive around the neighborhoods bordering Carry's apartment until I recognized the house I went to that night almost a month ago. Trev has spent most of the time whining and trying to get Ray to say more than a handful of words with little success. I can't imagine what it would be like to have him, Eli, and Dad all sit in a room together. They'd probably wither away before one of them made a single sound beyond breathing.