Love is Intricate (KimXi)

Chapter 1: The First Step is Moving On

Kim's Point of View

After three long years, nandito nanaman ako. Standing on the verge between my pride and my happiness. Ang sabi ng pride ko, I should stay. I should stay and plan on how to avenge my recent ex-boyfriend. Ang sabi naman ng happiness, I should leave and choose to start a new life.

I'm here in the airport. And my mind is still debating on whether or not I should leave Europe. Hawak-hawak ko na ang mga gamit ko. Everything I need is right here in my hands. Isa nalang ang kulang. I need to decide.

With a breath of hope, I decided na babalik na ko. Babalik na ako sa Pilipinas, the country I thought I would never have to face again. After everything that happened, hindi ko parin nakakalimutan yung sakit. The pain of being betrayed. The pain of being lied to. And most of all, the pain of losing your first loves.

Bakit first loves? Sabi ng parents ko, the first time I opened my eyes as a baby, I caught sight of my dad. The moment I heard his voice, I was calmed from crying. Kaya si daddy ang first love ko and I will always be his little girl. As I grew up, I also fell into romance. Doon ko nakilala ang first romantic love ko. I met him back in college, and the more I got to know him, I knew we would be a click. Pero hindi nagtagal ang relasyon namin. And I let go, because I was hurt. Sinaktan niya ako.

I entered the airplane. It's too late to turn back. I'm already here.

Sinabihan na kami ng flight attendant na umupo sa aming upuan. We will be leaving in a while. I did as I was told. It's going to be a long ride home, buti nalang at nasa window seat ako para may view naman. Seeing the clouds makes me feel relaxed. Para bang pain reliever yung sky. It makes me think na walang problema, na wala akong dapat ikatakot.

Facing the window, all the memories back in the Philippines seemed to come into my mind. Ayaw kong maalala, pero hindi naman ako ma-target ng amnesia. Kahit anong gawin ko, it's still stuck in my head. Unti-unting nag flash sa aking isip ang mga nangyari.

FLASHBACK

I was a new student of Ateneo De Manila University back in college. I was taking an architecture course. I dreamed of being an architech ever since. Since I was a kid, I was amazed at how my dad would design houses and make blueprints of them. At highschool, my dad proclaimed that his only daughter would be an architech. Architech Kimberly Sue Yap Chiu, that's what he always called me. I would follow his footsteps. My mom didn't dictate what she wanted me to be, but my dad outspokenly did. At hindi ako tumutol sa gusto ni dad, because I personally wanted to be an architech. That's where it all started.

Back in college, I was miss goody good shoes. Matalino, maganda naman, athletic, mabait, medyo popular din, at mayaman. Hindi sa ipinagyayabang ko or anything, pero that's who I was. I remember how my classmates would call me Miss Perfect. Nasa akin na nga daw ang lahat eh. Pero in my heart, alam kong hindi. Hindi nila nakita na sa likod ng perfect reflection ko, na may taong takot sa pagkakamali.

Then I met him. He studied in Ateneo since high school, kaya naman kilala siya ng lahat. He was Mr. Popular and I was Ms. Everybody Knows Who. Pag nakikita ako ng mga tao, they would say hi, hey, kamusta, ganyan. If I was close with them, lumalabas kami. Pero iba si Mr. Popular. Lahat ng mga tao humahabol sa kanya. He had the looks, sports, brains, money, and almost everything. But he had his own hole. Like almost all popular guys, may pagka-play boy reputation siya.

Halos lahat ng mga babae, nagpapakandarapa sa kanya. As in literal na hinahabol siya ng mga babae. Nung una, inis na inis ako. Ang dami niyang fans, akala mo Hollywood star. Hindi nga yata iyon nasosolo eh. Sa school, may fans club pa siya. Sinasayang lang ng mga tao ang oras nila sa kanya. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko sa kanya noon, pero hindi ko kase kinaya yung ingay ng fans niya tuwing nakikita siya. Tapos naka-block pa sila sa corridor, hindi ba nila alam na daanan iyon?