Reflections

Part 4

This is pretty short but it's an important chapter so bare with me. Also 2 chapters in one day because I'm gonna be too busy to upload for a few days.
P.s the picture above is how Michael's hair looks in this chapter .

It took less than 24 hours for Michael to figure out that this was becoming a big thing and as always he realised it in the wrong moment .

The 5sos boys were out for a meal with the guys from All time low who had stopped by on their short break from their UK tour when it happened. They were all sitting round a table in Nandos chowing down on spicy chicken and Peri peri fries, joking around like the typical "guys" the were everything was fine until Jack happened to make an offhand comment about Michaels eating habits resembling that of a wild animals .To this Michael then reacted they way anyone would in this situation,he lowered his face towards his plate and began to eat with only his mouth -the way an animal would. The main problem with this though was that his hair had grown out a bit,(not that he's complaining ,it looked better longer.) causing it to dip into the sauce on his plate , this wasn't a big problem,not by any means but it was what happened next that set him off.

"Damn man you need to cut your hair,I know you pull of that whole most feminine member of the band pretty well but I don't think you actually want to start LOOKING like a girl."

Michael knew Alex didn't mean it to be malicious or anything like that he was only joking around the way friends should be able to do without worrying about offending someone in such a dumb way.Yet it did and now Michael was sitting at the table feeling the same way he had done the whole week, heavy hearted and like he just wanted to stand up and scream out and ask them to stop . He didn't know what exactly he wanted to stop , he also didn't know why he was so offended by everything , he was perfectly content with being known as the girl of the band so why did Alex's statement hit him so hard?
Then it hit him like a solid punch in the stomach, Alex's words didn't offend him because he called him a girl ,it was because he acted like it was a bad thing ,like he was offended by the thought of Michael possibly being a female. It was almost like a light had been turned on inside Michael's brain exposing a massive area that had been over looked his entire life and now it was finally clear to him. The reason Michael was so uncomfortable with his masculine features and so comfortable with being the woman figure in the band was because deep down he was a she.

"bro you alive?" Calum's voice broke him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah sorry I totally spaced out what's up?" Michael asked successfully disguising the emotions he was feeling right now .

"You done? We were gonna head back to the house."

Michael nodded and slipped his jacket on following his friends out the door and into the van with a contented smile on his face. He was finally on the path to accepting himself and learning to look further than his reflection. For the first time in the last week Michael actually felt okay, the weight on his shoulders had subsided slightly and he felt peaceful . Peaceful enough that the exhaustion of the last week fell over him and he shut his eyes, resting his head against the window ,but before he did he sawAshton staring at him with a look that could only be described as a typical " we will talk later. "