Lifes not always easy

Maybe i dont want to know.

I made it through a few years, I was now going into grade 7.
Even though its been years since I lost my mom I still thought about her everyday, now that I'm older I understand what happened and it breaks my heart. I want revenge, but I know there's nothing I can do. Nothing has been getting better and I've been wondering a lot about other things in my life; Has there been any happy times? Why did my dad leave? Why didn't my mom get help? Why do I have to be in so much pain. What did I do wrong?
I decided to talk to my grandparents, although I know they don't care how I feel I think they'll give me answers.
It was at the dinner table and my grandmother had just brought out the food, they don't really talk to me besides at the table so I decided to ask.
"Grandma.. What happened to my dad, why did he leave, why doesn't he talk to me, did I do something wrong?"
She answered with.
"Rose. You didn't do anything wrong, Your father was a bad person. He didn't care about you or your mom, he used to do a lot of drugs and he also used to tell your mom if she had a kid he would kill it, instead of killing you he left you. You should be happy."
I couldn't believe what she just said. I left the table crying, how could she tell me I should be happy when my own father wanted me dead. How could I be happy when I don't have a father that cares, or a mother that can hold me.
I had so many other questions, but after hearing that I didn't want to know the rest. I can only imagine how much worse my life has been than I thought.
I didn't sleep much that week, that's also when I stopped going out and I didn't want to eat anymore. I didn't even want to sit at that table and have to remember what my grandmother told me. I guess that's when you can say the real depression started.