Blessing in Disguise (MM)

Chapter Thirty One

ARIS' POV

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I can't believe I just stuck my finger inside my boss's asshole.

Granted that I wanted to do it. Fuck. I wanted nothing more than to bring him to absolute blissful pleasure. And I did. Seconds after he coated his stomach in thick laces of cum and I'm not even ashamed to admit that I wanted to taste it.

But I will take my time and not completely freak him out just yet.

He's never been with a guy. That's what he wanted to say. It doesn't bother me because I understand why it was a big deal when he kissed me. He's figuring out new emotions. I don't want to assume things but he was with Elodie's mother for a good few years–I doubt he's had much chance since to think about his sexuality.

Though I'm relieved he kissed me tonight and things went further. I've wanted to touch him in inappropriate ways for a long time–I just didn't think that he thought the same. God. His face when he came apart. Fucking handsome and sexy and–

I take a breath before my heart stops altogether. My eyes meet myself in the reflection of his ensuite bathroom. I wash my hands and give Nick a moment to compose himself because I know what just happened might take him a while to adjust to.

Once my hands are clean and I throw on my T-shirt, I walk back out into his bedroom. But I wish I didn't. Nick sits at the edge of his bed, facing away from me. His head is in his hands, hunched over, boxers now on.

My lips twist downwards. A spear searing through my chest at a rapid speed.

Fuck my life. He regrets it already. I shouldn't have pushed him.

I close my eyes in defeat and steady my breathing. He hasn't heard me yet but I know my place and I'm not welcome here now. His head shakes slowly, still buried in the palms of his hands. A ball lodges in my throat and I groan in my head.

This was a bad, bad idea.

"Uhh," I clear my throat and Nick glances at me, not realising I was standing right behind him. "I should go."

Nick's eyes glimmer in the light and to my surprise he stands up, reaching for me. "No, don't," he says shakily before I take a step to leave. "Please. Stay."

He steps towards me, my neck cranking slightly to meet his gaze. I wish I wasn't this close to him because even though he looks tortured and slightly shocked himself, he doesn't look like he regrets what happened. If he can look me in the eye then I presume that he's not contemplating his entire life and actions.

"Is that what you really want?"

Nick pauses but he doesn't look away from me. "Yeah. I do."

I nod once. 'What about Elodie?"

"She doesn't have to know."

"Okay," I whisper. "As long as you're sure."

He takes my hand in his and runs his thumb across the back of my knuckles. "I'm sure. I think if you were to leave now I'd spiral and I don't want that. So stay. Please."

"Spiral?" I frown.

"Because I fear I would have fucked things up between us."

My brows pinch even tighter. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't want this to get in the way of your job with Elodie. She thinks the world of you and I don't think I can take that away from her. Not when she's become so comfortable and settled with you." He rasps and I nod in understanding.