Blessing in Disguise (MM)

Chapter Twenty Nine

NICK'S POV

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I've felt like a shit dad before. Now I feel like the worst dad in the entire world.

The last thing I ever want to see is Elodie crying because of me. Someone might as well have run me over with a truck and reversed to give the final blow because that's what I feel like right now.

No one could hate myself more than I do right now. I missed the performance I promised I would be there for and to think of her face when she realised I didn't show. My chest caves at the protruding thought and I know I need to be better. I have to be better.

I stroke back Elodie's hair as I put her to sleep and press a kiss to her forehead. "I never want to let you down again," I whisper, my eyes burning with threatening tears. "I love you so much. You're my everything. I'm going to be the best for you."

For a moment I let my gaze roam over her perfect little face. I smile even though tears cloud my gaze once again. She deserves a father who lives by his promises and always shows up for her.

I stand from her bed and slowly walk to her bedroom door before looking back. She's asleep peacefully and when I'm finally ready to leave I close the door behind me and step into the hall. As soon as I do my entire body slumps, my head hangs from shame embedded into my veins.

When I round the hall and walk into the living room Aris is still here. "Hey," he says softly but I don't meet his eyes. He moves from the sofa and approaches me. If he touches me I'm about to break down–I can already feel it. "Nick."

"I should have been there for her. I should have shown up for her and I couldn't even do that." My voice wobbles painfully. I clench my jaw at the frustrations for myself and the choices I made. I own the company, I could have left but in that split moment I chose business over my daughter and I've never been so ashamed of myself. "I'm the worst father ever."

Aris touches my wrist gently and I flinch. "No, Nick. You're not."

My hands move away from him and roll them over my face to distract myself. I never cry and this is the second time Aris has seen me on the verge of a breakdown. "Please don't try to make me out to be a decent person, Aris. We both know I'm not. You don't need to bullshit me. I know how much of an awful person I am."

"I'm not bullshitting you," he says and takes my hands away from my face. I finally meet his eyes and hate to see the raw honesty that simmers in them. "Sometimes things don't always go to plan, that's life, Nick. Shit happens and yes, what happened was really shit but it doesn't make you an awful person."

My teeth clench together. "Stop making excuses for me."

This time he cups my cheeks with his hands and smooths over the skin with his thumb. I close my lids at the warmth that it brings me and immediately despise myself for allowing my heart to enjoy this when I shouldn't. I should be reeling in my own choices.

"Talk to me," he whispers. "What happened?"

My cheek presses into his palms and I release a soft breath when he doesn't pull them away. I know I don't deserve this comfort but I can't stop myself. I'm a man who is deteriorating by the second.

"Go home, Aris," I wrinkle my nose and pull away, letting his hands fall to his sides.

"No," he says loudly. "Talk to me, Nick."

I raise my gaze to his and feel the heaviness of my eyes show how fucking exhausted I am. "Go. Home."

Aris' stare hardens. "So you fucked up with Elodie," he throws his hands in the air. "And now you're going to push me away because of it?"