Some people get depressed and can still show up. They can still smile and laugh and have happy moments. Some people can still cling to who they were working towards becoming, with hope that they will see that version of themselves again. Why can't I? Why do I get knocked down so hard that all I can do is lay around and cry? Why does my stomach ache so much? Why does my heart beat so fast that I'm afraid it'll beat out of my chest and run for the hills? I don't want to be numb. I dont want to isolate myself from the people I love. I dont want to keep changing for the worse. I want to change for the better. I was really trying, and I was doing so well, I thought. When you're doing well, you swear to yourself that you'll never treat yourself the way you did when you felt so low. Of course, you'd never run back to old coping skills that hurt you more than helped you. You'd create new ones. Healthy ones. I didn't have time, I didn't know i was racing against the clock. Before I knew it, I ran back to them all. When one didn't work, I moved to the next and got a little stuck. I am still stuck. I haven't felt this knocked down since high school. I tell myself, "You are worth fighting for. Move move move!! Get up !!!" I want to move, but my feet are glued to the floor.
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Paracosm
Puisi{PAR-uh-kahz-um} (n.) A detailed imaginary world created in the mind, often as a means of escape or solace, filled with its own people, places, and stories. | this book is quite the contrast. I shared my thoughts a really long time ago. I'll start...
