Satan's Most wanted Person

Lifeless

Author's Note at the end

Akosua

I don't know how I've managed to be strong all this while.

Walking slowly to the ICU where my father is, lying on the bed.

I feel broken.

There is he. Looking lifeless, immovable, eyes closed and there's a tube placed in his mouth for food passage.

My first time in an intensive care unit and I wonder how people can manage to see their loved ones in there, battling for their lives....watching on helplessly and counting on sheer hope for their survival.

You don't witness this and come back sane...No. A part of you also feels like you're dying slowly.

I am too young for this.

The only sureity I have is that a benevolent doctor has agreed to take care of the hard part, which is the medical bills.

He also asked me to be his friend after giving me a new phone to use, a phone I could never afford even in ten years... so yes, I agreed.

Now, the other part I want to see, is my father waking up from this coma alive and well.

Standing near his bed post and studying his features, all I wish for was to see my father opening his eyes to see me.

But he didn't.

I spend about an hour with him, brushing my fingers through his hair, holding his hand, praying for his recovery.....

Until visiting hours were over and I had to leave

....

I go home to meet nothing but emptiness.

After having a shower in tear, I didn't feel like eating and ignored the grumbling protest my stomach was making.

I'm lying on the sofa but I can't sleep.

I'm wallowed with fear, anxiety, panic and I feel a burning sensation in my head.

I try to breathe evenly but I don't feel like I'm breathing.

I am alone and scared of the worst that could ever happen to my father.

My heart literally sinks down my stomach I trepidation after every minute.

I keep drinking water to satiate my thirst but my throat still feels dry.

It seems I wasn't just physically thirsty, my soul rather was thirsty for redemption

I see myself outside my body and the only way to comfort myself, is hugging myself, rubbing my arms, rocking back and forth and speaking life into me...

I need my body back into me, it is wandering in a strange place, in search for answers

To feel like myself again...to be normal.

Because, I don't understand what's going on around me

'You will be fine, you shall come out of this darkness...Akosua.'

I keep humming these words to myself repeatedly so I can feel okay

Then I rub my palm against the pain I feel around my chest, to soothe it.

God, don't let my father die otherwise I will stop trusting you if you let him die. I plead and hope that He listens.

I can't bare to lose him. My mother is not around me... I have no one.

He's alone at the ICU and I'm not supposed to be with him at the odd hour. What if something bad happens to him?

What if the machines stop working and there's no one to attend to him?

I'm in pain!

'Let this pain stop, God please' I cried until I suddenly experience a numbness in my whole body

My eyes begin to get heavily as soon as I was calm then I finally welcomed sleep.

Author's Note

This is one of the most difficult chapters I had to write and sorry I had to cut it short.

Thank you!!!