Hateful Love

Chapter Fifty-Three

NOTE: I do not own any of the ideas or characters expressed in this story (except Cassie Jackson). All of these belong to J.K. Rowling.

*******************

Cassie P.O.V.

          It’s been a week. A full week has gone by since Draco came back, and neither of us has said a single word to the other.

          After what happened in Potions, I went straight up to my dormitory and cried for hours alone in my bed. I didn’t know what to feel anymore; seeing Matt’s name on that cauldron brought back painful memories that I’ve been trying so hard to put behind me. With everything going on with Hogwarts and the Carrows, I had finally been able to keep the usually constant thoughts of Matt to a minimum.

          And I had to act like nothing was wrong when Katherine came into the dorm after classes had finished. I couldn’t tell her that Matt’s cauldron has been lying completely forgotten in the back of Slughorn’s classroom all this time, that no one cared enough to take it out of there after he died. She’d just lose it again, so I didn’t say anything. I still remember how bad things were with Katherine right after it happened.

          So Draco and I haven’t spoken to each other again since that Potions class, and seeing him every day in the halls has been seriously difficult. For the first few days, it was easy and I would just angrily look away from him as he walked by. But lately, it’s been getting harder to stay mad at him. Draco looks absolutely miserable, and each day that we ignore each other starts to make me regret walking out on him last week. I know I’ve got a right to be mad, I know I do. But as time goes by, I find myself slowly starting to forgive him…even if I hate myself for it.

          And maybe Draco’s noticed it too, because he just sent me a letter asking me to meet him tonight.

          I was lying on my bed doing the Transfiguration essay around eleven when a dark barn owl tapped on my window. I figured it was just something from Neville, but I opened the note to find that it just read: We need to talk. Please.

          My first reaction is to bite my lip, not knowing what to think. The letter is obviously from Draco, and he clearly means meet him now in the Room of Requirement. It’s hours past curfew, so that will require sneaking around and keeping a look out for the Carrows—I’m not sure I want to risk getting caught for this. Even though I’ve started to forgive Draco, I don’t know if meeting him now is the best idea. I don’t want to get into another fight.

          But I also just really, really want to see him.

          I swing my legs off my bed and stand, throwing my essay to the side. Katherine lifts her head up from her Divination textbook as I tug on my sneakers, asking sleepily, “Hey, where’re you going?”

          Luna and Julie are sleeping already, so I grab my jacket and whisper, “I just gotta go. I’ll be back later.”

          “Oh,” Katherine says, smirking at me knowingly. “See you.”

          The hallways feel warmer than usual as I hurriedly walk over to the Room of Requirement, doing my best not to make a sound. I start down the stairs, the only source of light being the occasional torch, and wonder what the hell I’m doing.

I’m still angry and hurt over what happened with Yaxley’s daughter and the whole arranged marriage, not to mention the fact that Draco lied to me for about two months. So why the hell am I going to see him now? He’s just going to apologize again, but am I really ready to forgive him completely?