Hateful Love

Chapter Ten

NOTE: I do not own any of the ideas or characters expressed in this story (except Cassie Jackson). All of these belong to J.K. Rowling.

~*~

Cassie P.O.V.

Matt does his best to avoid me the next day. I try to get near enough to at least try to explain, but he just turns the other way whenever he sees me coming.

          Really, I’m the one who should be mad—he’s being completely unreasonable. But I’m not angry with him, I just miss him.

          The worst part is that I have no one to talk to about this. I can’t go to Cho or Katherine without explaining Malfoy’s tutoring, and I’m terrified they’ll think the same things Matt did. That leaves Danny, but he’s currently ignoring me. I don’t think I’d ever go to him for advice anyway…

          Well, I spent Christmas vacation at home with my parents. Katherine, Cho, and I tried to work out a sleepover, but we were all too busy visiting family. I didn’t mind, however; I needed a break from everything.

          After a blissful week of no homework or classes, I’m finally back at Hogwarts. Two weeks go by, faster than I expected, and I’m starting to feel less torn up about Matt. We’ve fallen into an awkward state where we avoid one another, which becomes exceptionally difficult at meal times. I sometimes catch myself staring at him, hoping he’ll look up and ignite a spark, reminding the both of us of how things might have been. But he never meets my eyes.

          Even after the fight, I still go to get tutoring from Malfoy. I feel incredibly guilty about it after what Matt said, but I don’t have much of a choice anymore. I refuse to fail Potions, and Malfoy is pretty much the only one who can prevent that from happening.

          It’s Saturday today, and I’m feeling relieved that classes are over for this week. Malfoy sent me an owl this morning, telling me he could tutor me later this afternoon. He helped me study for a little over two hours, to prepare for an upcoming Potions exam that I’m currently dreading.

          I’ve already packed up my bag after we finish, so I turn to Malfoy to say goodbye.

          “Wait, Jackson,” he says before I can turn away. I look over at him and see he’s awkwardly shuffling his feet. Malfoy looks up at me through blonde hair that’s fallen in his eyes, asking curiously, “What’s up with you and that Matt guy?”

          It takes me a moment to find my voice, as I’m completely caught off guard, but then force out, “Why—why do you ask?”

          “I just thought you two had a thing,” he says with a shrug. “But now you just avoid each other.”

          “Um,” I reply blankly, wondering why Malfoy is acting like this. It’s almost as if he…no. I stop myself there; the real Malfoy doesn’t give a crap about my life. I stare at him suspiciously as I ask, “Why do you care so much? I thought you hated me.”

          “I don’t—“ he says exasperatedly, but then stops himself halfway through the sentence. “Look, I just wanted to know.”

          “Well,” I respond bitterly. “If we had anything, it’s over now.”

          There’s silence for a moment, then I say with embarrassment, “I dunno why I just told you that...”

          “No,” Malfoy says quietly. “It’s okay, and it’s my fault for asking.” There’s another awkward silence, and I’m just wondering if I should leave when he says even quieter than before, “If it makes you feel any better, I thought you two were a bad couple anyway.”