Hateful Love

Chapter Eighteen

NOTE: I do not own any of the ideas or characters expressed in this story (except Cassie Jackson). All of these belong to J.K. Rowling.

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Draco P.O.V.

My back hurts from bending over the cabinet for so long. I’ve been working for almost three hours, and the Room of Requirement suddenly feels like a sauna. Wiping the sweat off my brow, I sit back on my heels and stare at the Vanishing Cabinet.

It’s finished.

My chest feels tight as I realize there’s nothing more I can do. The cabinet is ready, and I can’t avoid it any longer.

I’m not sure how long I sit there, staring at the cabinet and wishing it would break under my gaze, but I eventually pocket my wand. Getting to my feet, I reluctantly shut the cabinet door and step away.

As I continue to stare at it, I wonder desperately how I’m going to tell Cassie. I know I’ll have to, but I don’t want her to worry—because I know she will. It’s been nearly three weeks since I told her about me being a Death Eater, and even though she won’t say so out loud, I know she worries about me a lot.

I let out a heavy sigh and turn away from the cabinet, deciding I’ll figure that out when the time comes. I leave the Room of Requirement and make my way through the empty hallways toward the lake. I’ve skipped all my classes today, so everyone else is still in their last class.

It’s rainy and a bit cloudy outside. I barely notice the occasional droplet hitting my face as I walk down to the lake, staring at the ground with my hands stuffed in my pockets.

I settle down at the base of a tree and wrap my cloak tighter around me as I watch the rippling waves in the lake. There’s something so mesmerizing about it, something that makes me forget what’s going to happen tomorrow. It makes me forget what I have to do.

I lose track of time, but I must sit there for a while because I eventually feel a warm hand on my shoulder. Disrupted from my thoughts, I turn angrily, but I see that it’s Cassie and I instantly calm down.

“You skipped Charms and Potions,” she says, sitting down beside me. I put my arm around her, pulling her closer to me, and I feel her smile as she continues, “It was awful without you, I hope you know that.”

“How was sitting with Blaise and Goyle in Potions?” I smirk, as Cassie entwines her fingers with mine.

She rolls her eyes, and for a moment, I forget what I have to tell her. Her eyes are so green that they remind me of emeralds, and I have a sudden urge to try and explain to her how beautiful she is. But I can’t do that now.

“Terrible,” Cassie moans. “Blaise pretended not to hear me when I asked him to pass the Hippogriff feathers.”

“I’m not sure you’d want him to pass them to you,” I say, and we both laugh, reminded of the exploding powder he gave Cassie months ago.

We both sit in a comfortable silence, and I don’t want to break it by telling her. I’m having an internal battle with myself when Cassie lifts her head up and looks me in the eyes, asking seriously, “What’s wrong?”

I thought I could hide my emotions better than that…

I take a deep breath and say as quietly as I can, “It’ll happen tomorrow.”

Cassie bites her lip and looks away from me. Just the sad expression on her face makes me want to take it back. It wasn’t like I had to tell her; she’s just going to worry about it now. I squeeze her hand tightly and whisper, “Cassie…”

“Where will you go after?” Her voice sounds so small and innocent, making me feel guilty.

“I’ll leave straight after…and I won’t come back for the rest of this year,” I reply quietly, wishing I hadn’t told her at all. My voice shakes a bit as I continue, “Cassie, I—I won’t see you until the start of our seventh year.”

Cassie’s eyes snap up to meet mine. They look incredibly sad as she says, “But that’s almost four months.”

I don’t say anything to this. Rubbing my thumb on the back of her hand, I look away towards the lake.

“Draco, look at me.” I turn my head back to her reluctantly, not wanting to see her pained expression. Cassie seems so defiant as she protests, “You are not leaving alone for four months.”

“Cassie, I don’t have a choice,” I say, avoiding her gaze. “I’ll be back here the first day of term, I swear—“

“You can’t leave me for four months.”

“Don’t say it like that,” I beg. “It makes it sound like I’m breaking up with you, and I’m not.”

After a moment, Cassie says quietly, “I know. I just…I won’t know what to do without you.”

I finally allow myself to look at her, and my stomach turns over as I realize she’s crying. “Please, don’t cry,” I whisper, pulling her close to me and resting my chin on the top of her head. “We’ll both be okay. And the summer isn’t that long, so…” I stop, because we both know I’m not fooling anyone. This summer will feel like a lifetime apart from each other.

“Draco?” she says, sniffling quietly as though she’s trying to hide it. “Be careful tomorrow.”

I pull her even closer to me and say, “You have to stay in your dormitory tomorrow night. Promise me.”

“No, I’ll want to say goodbye to you…”

“We can say goodbye before. You have to promise me you won’t leave your common room tomorrow night.”

Cassie sighs, and I can tell she’s tired from this. “Okay. I’ll stay in my dormitory.”

I kiss her forehead gently and whisper against her skin, “Thank you.”

Neither of us says anything for a long time after that. We just lie together under the tree and watch the setting sun reflect off the lake. Both of us hold desperately onto one another, because we know this is the last night we’ll be together for a long time.