Daryl's Angel (10th Anniversary Edition)

Epilogue

I couldn't sleep right away, not after everything. For a while, we all just faced what had happened, what we had done.

I've never seen someone's face as covered in blood as Rick's. His beard, his hair, his hands, all dyed red. Dan lay in the ditch, eviscerated from navel to throat. Joe's throat was torn out—I've seen enough walker carnage to recognize a human bite. Tony and Billy, gunshots through the head, and Harley and Jack with mush instead of faces.

We dragged the bodies into the woods, leaving them there and taking their weapons and gear, their bags. Daryl picked up Len's bow and quiver, claiming it for his own.

Evneutally, the adrenaline left me and my consciousness soon followed.

I wake to the feeling of someone gently lifting my head. My eyes open, just a smidge, and I see Daryl's boots as he rests my head on his lap. I feel his hand stroking my hair and I let my eyes close again, letting out a long sigh.

"We should save it to drink," Rick says from somewhere beside us.

"You can't see yourself. He can," Daryl replies.

I feel movement again, then nothing but breathing and rustling fabric.

"I didn't know what they were," Daryl says.

A pause. "How'd you wind up with them? You and Hope..."

"I was with Beth. We got out together. I was with her for a while."

"Is she dead?"

"She's just gone."

Silence. Daryl keeps stroking my hair, gently separating my curls.

"After that," he says. "That's when they found me. I mean, I knew they were bad but they had a code. It was simple. Stupid, but it was something. It was enough."

"And you were alone. Bet Hope was too."

"Yeah. Found her by chance, just...her and this old hound. We were hunting, heard this dog barking. Should've left soon as I found her. What could've happened...I didn't protect her like I should've."

"It isn't your fault."

Daryl sighs. "Said they were looking for some guy. Last night they said they spotted him. We were gonna leave, but..." A long pause. "That's when I saw it was you three. Right when you saw me. I didn't know what they could do."

"It's not on you, Daryl." A rush of breath. "Hey," Rick says, more certain. "It's not on you. You two being back with us here, now, that's everything."

The wind rustles the trees. Daryl's hands shake a little as he keeps toying with my hair.

"You're my brother," Rick says.

I stay silent, still. Daryl lets out a long breath.

"Hey, what you did last night? Anybody would have done that."

"No, not that."

"Something happened. That ain't you."

"Daryl, you saw what I did to Tyreese. It ain't all of it, but that's me. That's why I'm here now. That's why Carl is. I want to keep him safe. That's all that matters."

A dawning thought hits me, that this is the first time I've really understood Rick. Like I can really understand. Last night, I did what old me couldn't dream of. It felt like I left part of myself behind, locked it away for long enough to protect what's mine.

I don't know if I did anything in the end. I don't know if harassing Billy gave Daryl an upper hand. But I felt angry, and I felt weak, and I felt a little crazy, and in the end, they're all dead and we're still alive.