"We were
Just friends
That spoke like lovers
And that seemed to be enough for
Two teenagers who were scared to love one another"
- k.a.t.
~~~~~~
Lorenzo Berkshire x Cassandra Avery (OC)
A sort of slow burn, childhood best friends to lovers story...
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"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself." - Franz Kafka
~~~~~~
Cassie Avery
"You do realise it's your birthday?", Onyx whined.
"I noticed", I replied, maybe a little too sharply, but I was drained, and they were looking at me like I'd committed some grave sin by hiding away in the library instead of sneaking into the prefects bathroom to get drunk. Because nothing says "birthday party" like hiding the literal symbol of evil carved into your flesh.
Normally, I'd be the first one in. Normally, I'd already be halfway to the bathroom by now.
But tonight, I wasn't going.
Tonight, I was studying. Not that I would be able to concentrate. My mind was somewhere else. It always was these days. Usually, it was in the Room of Requirement with Theo and Draco, pretending we were just fixing something old and broken instead of inviting murderers into our school.
"Are you already drunk?" Blaise added. "Because that's the only way this makes sense."
Theo slid into the seat next to me, reaching for my notes. I slapped his hand away, and he grinned. "You know, if I didn't know you, I might be impressed by your dedication. But I do know you, and this is just tragic".
I ignored him, flipping a page like I actually cared about what I was looking at.
"Cassie, you have been studying for weeks", Onyx gave me her best pleading eyes. "What are you still worrying about?".
Of course, I couldn't tell them the truth. So I lied. I let them think that a divination exam was the most frightening thing in my life right now.
"It's just..." I trailed off, tapping the page with my quill. "I don't want to let Lorenzo down. He's been helping me study for weeks and I'm starting to get it now. Sort of".
Theo whistled lowly. "Studying? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?".
I rolled my eyes. "It's not like that".
Though, if I was being completely honest, I'm not entirely sure what it was like.
"Well, we tried", Onyx sighed. "We'll be in the bathroom if you come to your senses. Or if you remember how to be fun again."
I watched as they filed out of the library. And then it was quiet, just the way I needed it to be.
It was easier to focus when I was alone. Easier to pretend I cared about planetary alignments, that I actually wanted to understand anything written in the absolute disaster of a textbook in front of me. The words blurred together, half from exhaustion, half from the fact that I didn't actually care. But I forced myself to stay.
