slide away {lorenzo berkshire}

51. new person, same old mistakes

"I am destroying myself so other people can't," she said, "and it's the worst kind of control but it's the only form I know."
- Sue Zhao

~~~~~~

Cassie Avery

As the weeks went by, Mattheo's violent outbursts became a common occurrence. He would lash out at everyone and anyone, for muttering something under their breath, for walking too close to him, for looking in my direction.

I didn't even try to stop him anymore. I didn't dare to. No one did. I just stood there with my arms folded, until he would turn around with a sickening grin on his face as if he had enjoyed the whole thing.

In some ways, it should have been easy. There were no games, no pretending to be someone I wasn't - he didn't seem to care what anyone thought of him, or of us. When we were alone, he could be surprisingly tender, brushing his fingers through my hair like I was something worth keeping safe. Other times, though, it felt like being caught in a storm - his moods snapping without warning, his anger quick, sharp, and terrifying when it turned on someone else. Or on me.

Tonight, he was... making an effort, in his own way. He didn't laugh along with everyone or tell stories like Blaise or Theo. Instead, he just... stayed. He sat there, leaned back in the armchair next to mine, long legs stretched out like he owned the space, eyes scanning the group quietly as though measuring them rather than joining them.

But every time Lorenzo spoke - every single time - Mattheo's eyes cut toward him. Not obviously, not enough for anyone else to clock it, but I knew what I was looking at.

And Lorenzo knew too. Lorenzo was the only one who hadn't softened to him. He sat opposite, posture loose but expression flat, like he could see right through him and didn't care much for what he saw. His jaw tensed, but he stayed calm, even when Mattheo leaned back and said casually,

"So, Lorenzo, how long have you known Cassie?".

Lorenzo's eyes didn't leave his book at first, but there was the tiniest twitch at the corner of his mouth, like he was already preparing to win whatever game Mattheo had decided they were playing.

"Forever," Lorenzo said simply, glancing at me briefly before returning to his book.

Mattheo smirked, fingers drumming on the armrest. "Cute."

Lorenzo slammed his book shut and leaned back casually in his chair. "Yep. Since she was six and had no front teeth" he added, eyes flicking to mine, his tone deliberately nostalgic. "Remember when you tried to hex Draco's shoes to tie themselves together every time he put them on? But you never realised it had backfired until you started running away and fell face first into the wall. You cried for a whole hour. Took me ages to cheer you up again".

Theo choked on his drink, trying not to laugh, and Blaise grinned. "Wait - you cried?".

"It was years ago," I said quickly, heat rising in my face. Not out of embarrassment, but because I knew he was poking the bear.

Lorenzo smirked, clearly pleased he'd hit his target. But he wasn't looking at me anymore. His eyes were on Mattheo now, sharp and deliberately calm, like he was testing him. Look how long I've known her. Look how much you don't.

Mattheo's eyes were on me, then shifted to Lorenzo, unreadable. He didn't respond, but the silence felt heavier, the air sharper. His fingers drummed against his knee again, then stopped abruptly.

I caught his expression - cool, controlled, but his jaw was tight, a muscle ticking in his neck.

It didn't take long for him to mutter something about going to bed. The glare he gave me told me 'you're coming too' without saying the words. So I followed him.