slide away {lorenzo berkshire}

49. deja vu

"A thousand moments that I had just taken for granted- mostly because I had assumed that there would be a thousand more"
- Morgan Matson

~~~~~~

Cassie Avery

Walking back into the Great Hall should've felt like coming home. But instead, I felt like a stranger in her own skin.

Every eye followed me and Mattheo as we stepped in - his hand resting low on my waist like it had been there a thousand times before, mine tucked loosely at myside as if it didn't belong to me. I heard the whispers, the stares darting between the two of us, and the subtle tilt of heads when McGonagall's eyes flicked from us to Snape.

There was Sorting Hat ceremony for him. Snape had simply said, "You'll be housed with Slytherin," and that had been it - like he'd been expected all along.

The murmurs started immediately: Snape's nephew, they thought, from overseas, a transfer from Durmstrang.

I kept my expression blank, the same one I'd perfected over the summer, that calm, empty mask I used when sitting at a table of killers. Inside, my chest was tight, knotted, but I didn't let it show.

I slid into the bench with Mattheo beside me, suddenly very aware of Draco and Theo stealing awkward glances my way. Lorenzo sat at the far end of the table, shoulders stiff, face unreadable, though I could feel him looking at me every so often. That look was the worst part - it wasn't anger or betrayal. It was something far heavier, like he was trying to work out if the girl that had just walked in with Mattheo Riddle was still the same one he knew.

Mattheo sat beside me as if he'd done it his entire life. His dark eyes scanned the room lazily, daring someone to speak. He nodded once at Draco, who gave a curt nod back. Theo barely looked up. Blaise said nothing.

Onyx, however, gave me a look that made my stomach twist. It was quick, but obvious: a mix of relief to see me alive and... unease. Maybe even fear.

I pretended not to notice and focused on my plate. I couldn't eat, not really. I hadn't really for months. But especially not now, with the whispers still trickling through the Hall, not with Lorenzo's eyes flicking my way and then away again like he couldn't bear to look for too long.

The common room was worse. It was quieter, but the distance was unmistakable. People gave me space now. No warm greetings, no pulling me into conversation. There was distance around me now, invisible but real, the kind people gave to snakes or weapons - intriguing, but no one wanted to be too close.

Mattheo lounged in one of the chairs near the fire, spinning his wand in one hand and staring at the flames. Draco and Theo spoke in low voices near the stairs, their eyes flicking my way, then away. Lorenzo went straight to bed without even saying goodnight.

Onyx mouthed a quiet, strained, "You okay?" but didn't press when I said I was fine.

I waited until she was asleep before I went up to our room. I didn't need her questions. Not yet. Not when I didn't have any answers.

Mattheo had been summoned back to the Manor by his father - giving nothing more than "I'll be back later". He didn't say why. He never did.

I couldn't stay still. My skin itched, my thoughts wouldn't shut up, so I slipped on my shoes and eased out the door without a sound.

Even the corridors felt different this year. The air colder, heavier. The portraits didn't speak, just watched me as I passed like they'd forgotten what it meant to gossip. The castle was too quiet, and it only fed the restless energy in my chest.