slide away {lorenzo berkshire}

46. i know the end

"Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

~~~~~~

Lorenzo Berkshire

The Great Hall had never felt so quiet.

The enchanted ceiling was grey, clouds hanging low and heavy, like the castle itself was mourning.

Even with the clatter of cutlery and the low hum of conversation, something was missing - some hum of safety that had always lived in the air above us. Since Dumbledore's death, that hum was gone. Hogwarts felt colder. More brittle. Like a reflection in a mirror just before it shatters.

Dumbledore's chair sat empty. The staff table was quieter than ever. Even the ghosts seemed to keep their distance.

We sat at the Slytherin table, all in our usual spots, but the silence between us said everything.

Cassie barely touched her food. She had been staring at the same piece of toast for ten minutes. Draco looked pale and strained, dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in days. Theo was silent, his arms crossed tight across his chest. Even Blaise had stopped his usual lazy banter, and Onyx kept glancing between us like she was watching something unravel.

"So..." Onyx finally said, voice soft, as if speaking too loudly might crack the room. "Summer."

Cassie didn't answer. I forced a smile. "Yeah. That."

Onyx gave me a look - one I couldn't read. Pity, maybe. Or worry. Then she looked at Cassie. "You staying at the Manor?"

Cassie nodded, still not looking up.

"With your mum?".

She scoffed, "Probably".

That was the last thing she said all breakfast. We finished eating in near silence. Just the clinking of forks and the distant sound of a single owl calling outside.

Cassie disappeared for a while after that. I looked everywhere for her. And then I realised there was only one place she would be. The place where everything had changed.

As I climbed the stairs, I passed Potter on his way down. He didn't look at me. Even after what we had witnessed with him. Just brushed by, his face unreadable. I didn't think much of it. Maybe he'd come to say goodbye to the spot where Dumbledore fell. A lot of students had done the same over the last week, as if standing there made them braver.

But when I reached the top, Cassie was already there, standing exactly where Dumbledore had - hands curled tight around the stone railing, hair catching in the breeze.

She didn't look up when I stepped beside her. Just stared straight down at the courtyard below.

"You hate heights," I said quietly.

She didn't answer.

I followed her gaze to the place where Dumbledore had fallen. The flagstones had been scrubbed clean, but I couldn't unsee the blood. No one could.

"I remember," I continued, "first year, you wouldn't even go near the edge."

Still nothing.

"Are you trying to prove something?", I asked. "Or... punish yourself?".

"I don't know."

I studied her profile - the blank expression, the tension in her jaw, the way her eyes were fixed on that spot like she could still see him lying there.

"It wasn't your fault."

Cassie exhaled, but it didn't sound like relief. "Isn't it?"

"Don't do that to yourself."