Sepia Makes Everybody Cry With a Dyle Fanfic

twenty five

My mouth hung open. "Wh-What?" I stuttered. "We..." Then something clicked. "Janna, honey, we're not in Boston anymore."

I could hear her pause. "What do you mean?" 

I sighed and tucked a hand in my pocket, leaning against the bus. "Well... we had t-to leave. We're a-almost in Quebec, Canada now. Um... w-we have a g—"

"You're in Canada?" she cut me off with a shout. "Oh... God, this is crazy. I'm almost at the airport though!"

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. Suddenly, I realized I was about to run my hand through my hair. Like Dan... My face burned and I shoved it back into my pocket. "I... I can pay fo-for your expenses, r-really. You got a round-trip flight, though, didn't you?" I waited in anxious silence. She honestly may not have, knowing her when she gets excited and starts planning. Not everything goes well.

"I... um... Would you be mad if I said no?" 

"I'm not mad. I'm happy as a lobster! Now, h-how about—?"

She started laughing. "A lobster, Kyle? Really? I doubt there are too many happy lobsters out there, especially since so many of them are about to get eaten." She continued laughing and I let a few snickers out as well. I was too weighed down inside to really get into it like usual. Thank God she hadn't noticed. She will when she sees me in person... I mentally swatted the thought away. No, she's not going to. She's going home and we'll return after the whole tour is over and—

I wasn't even convincing myself. She interrupted my weak thoughts though. "Okay, okay... What's the plan? I touch down here, grab a hotel or something, then catch a train—do they have trains that take you that far? I'll have to look that up—and meet you up in Quebec by Saturday!"

"No... Y-You should go back home. J-Just tell them you had a round-trip and they marked it wrong, and you just noticed now."

"Kyle..? What? Don't you want to see me?" Her voice was pinched on the other end and I felt guilty. "I've missed you. It's hard when you're on the other end of the earth so often. We only text. I don't even get to hear your voice, let alone see your face."

"W-We'll video chat, then," I offered. The effort sounded terrible even to me.

She was silent for a few moments and I could tell her face was darkening. "Something better not be going on, Kyle. With someone else." I froze, and almost relaxed when I realized she meant a girl. Then I almost choked again. "It's not like you to cheat, Kyle! Why—?"

"No, no, no, no, no!" I finally burst out. "No, Janna, really. Please, believe me, I'm not cheating on you with another girl." White lies. When did we become such good friends? "Really. Honestly, I think it's just that I've gotten so used to not having you around. I've kinda... trained myself to survive without you." I laughed nervously. "But..." I sighed. "It's fine. G-Go ahead. You can come vi-visit us. But w-we'll be heading out really soon. J-Just so you know."

I could almost see her perk up. "All right. I'll believe you when I see you, though." Some muffled voice sounded through the phone. "Ah, that's the pilot. Twenty one minutes to touchdown. They want all devices off." She sighed and mumbled something more about time. "Okay... Love you, Kyle."

My breath stopped. My mind raced and I asked myself, Do I love her? More importantly, would I lie to her about that if I didn't? I opened my mouth and, "You too, Janna," tumbled out. After they were out I realized, I did love her... I cared for her. But maybe not as a girlfriend anymore.

"See you soon!" She clicked off and I slowly let the phone and my hand drop to my side.

I sat there in silence for a while, contemplating my life and what it had become. I thought back to when Dan had finally convinced me to join his band. I guess I was playing 'hard-to-get.' I cringed at the thought. Had I had unknown feelings for him even then? The flutters in my stomach as I thought of him in Uni days confirmed my thoughts.

Then Will's words came back to me. Best friends. Could I really pull that off if I had these feelings floating around inside me? What if Dan didn't even feel the same way? He could've gotten himself over it now, convincing himself I was a bastard and certainly not to be trusted. Maybe if I ignored the not-platonic feelings and directed the emotions toward the notion of friendship... I groaned. It was a mess, but it was important. Who knows? Maybe I don't even have real gay feelings for him. Maybe it's all just gratitude... Maybe I just... love him so much for being such a good friend.

I fought the urge to hit my head against the bus. It was confusing, but I put my foot down. I would do it. I would redirect the feelings toward being best friends. 

Almost as if summoned by my thoughts, I heard a bang and turned to see Dan stepping out of the bus. I decided to ignore the redness in his face and take slow breaths. He didn't look at me, only slowly stepped down and headed Will's way. Woody parted the group and brought him in. He nodded his thanks but still didn't say anything.

I watched for a while. It was a few minutes almost before I realized I was holding my breath. He really was beautiful. You could think your best friend was beautiful, right? I gritted my teeth. Fine. I can continue to crush on him as long as I don't let them get in the way of his life. As long as I keep it to myself, everything will be fine.

I sat with those thoughts in my head, trying to nail them down. The others were still talking. It was when Dan turned around slowly to glance at me that I knew he was just as confused. I wondered desperately when we would ever have closure. With Janna's visit coming up, I knew there was going to be major testing on our part—on our friendship. I just hoped it wouldn't hurt the band.

I kinda messed up the timeline. Oops. IDK haha author's license I guess. Also, if anyone got my reference ily.