twenty nine

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The interview went well. The questions were relatively usual—"What's going on with album two?" "How's the touring life?" "Let's talk about this song."—and I tried to handle them as well as I could. I ended up relaxing and just taking things as they came. Hear the question, think quickly, answer the question. Routines were good. 

Kyle didn't say much. In fact, Will was more talkative than he, surprisingly. I briefly worried if the fans would pick up on that. Probably, but he could just be tired. As the questions shifted away from me and more towards the other guys, however, I could tell he was getting nervous. I shook my head. This whole mess was ruining us. I just hope we can survive to rebuild.

The interviewer began asking about our personal lives rather than our career. My stomach felt like lead inside me, but I kept a calm face. 

"So," he said, leaning forward with a stage smile, "how are relationships going?" He suddenly looked at me, then over to Kyle. "Dan? Kyle? How about you two?" 

My ears started ringing and I didn't breathe for a whole minute. I prayed my face wouldn't show it. I swallowed and vaguely heard Kyle say, "What?" 

I steadied myself and looked over to him. He had leaned forward and was now laughing awkwardly. 

"W-We... I'm, uh..." He laughed again. "What?" 

I had no idea what Will or Woody looked like, though I assumed they weren't much better. Finally, the interviewer was laughing with Kyle. He looked slightly puzzled. 

"You know, relationships. How are your two relationships?" he asked. 

I gulped in air and jumped in, "Oh, I'm not with anyone. The only single guy here," I forced a laugh. 

Kyle nodded, taking the cue. "Y-Yeah, 'cause I-I'm in... a relationship with... Janna," he said. I inwardly cringed at his pauses and prayed no one would question it. "Janna. My girlfriend. We're great." He turned and winked at the camera. "Love you, baby." It sounded like something Will would say.

I had a small smile hovering on my lips. I sighed. Over. Over. Over. Over. Over. We don't belong in a relationship together. It's over.

The man either didn't pick up on the black ice we'd been sliding on, or he chose the media-style option to breeze over it and continue. If he didn't ask us about it later, I would be happy. He briefly talked to Woody and Will, who each gave their information accordingly, then we turned back to plans for the future before closing up. 

"Thank you," he said, shaking each of our hands. "I, uh... I hope you have a smooth ride out." He didn't look at Kyle and I for long, but long enough. He wasn't as dim as I thought. 

"Thanks for having us," I told him, nodding. I held eye-contact for a few seconds longer, feeling like someone in a movie. This shouldn't be happening in real life. I silently prayed he wouldn't say anything. It would be hard enough to move past this if the rest of the world were on our backs about it.

I'm so sorry, Kyle. I'm so sorry it's all ruined, but you still mean the world to me. You deserve peace and to be happy, and I promise I'll do my damnest to give that to you. I won't be your boyfriend, but I'll be your goddamn best friend.

The crew left, but the four of us were told to stay behind for a while. The arena wasn't ready for us yet, and we could help with the editing of the footage we just gave them. I liked having a hand in our business and not many of the television companies did that, so I jumped on the opportunity. Maybe I could work around the whole incident.

Will came up behind me and lay a hand on my shoulder. "Hey," he whispered. "That was rough." I nodded, grimacing slightly. He cleared his throat. "My advice is to treat him like you'd treat the rest of us."

"Great. Got it," I replied, taking a deep breath. Will patted my shoulder and receded to a chair in the corner. He pulled out his phone and abandoned us.

Woody looked a little out of place, hovering around the filming equipment and looking over the crew's shoulders. He frequently asked questions like, "What's that?" and "What does it do?" He hummed his approval, fascination showing in his face, and muttered, "Cool," often.

I left him alone. I wandered around to the producers and chief editors, choosing not to find Kyle. I trusted he was busying himself appropriately. Probably on his phone like Will. As I was invited to sit down in a chair and give some input, I got another tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see the interviewer. I briefly wondered what sort of other job he had here.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" he asked. It took me a moment to respond, the American accents spinning around my head.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." I stood up and he lead me over to the side.

"Is there a relationship issue going on?" he asked.

Wow. Straight to the point, I see. I swallowed and coughed, my fingers seeking out my bracelets. "Er... Sort of." He doesn't need to know everything, I told myself. "It's complicated. We're all close and... well..." I couldn't think past every detail of the past few days and I took too long in responding.

"Okay," he jumped in. "I'll tell you what: I'm a decent man. I understand different interests. Confusing interests. And I founded this project on the idea of telling the truth, and telling it fairly."

My stomach loosened just a little. I studied his face—his gaze was soft and I allowed myself to trust him. An intrusive thought wriggled its way in and I heard my own voice in my head say, He's pretty attractive. I felt my eyes widen and hoped my cheeks weren't reddening, digging my nails into my palms.

I nodded at him. "Yeah, yeah. Thank you. I just... It's so... weird. I really don't want it to be taken the wrong way."

He smiled. "Or the right way."

I resisted the urge to glare at him. "Uh... sure."

He leaned back nonchalantly. "Okay. You come help us edit out as much as we can, and we'll keep track of any sort of controversy in the comments. It's going up on Youtube, all right?"

"Yes, okay. Thank you."

We shook hands and I collapsed back into my chair. He hovered over my shoulder and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe I wasn't straight, but Kyle didn't have to be the only one to be a part of that. Wait, I thought to myself. Just wait. I would pursue it another time. I continued smiling for far too long afterward.


SO SORRY FOR THE RIDICULOUSLY LONG WAIT but I finally got to this part yay I've been waiting to write this chapter since I started this goddamn book lol. I'm unsure about how I'm going to end it though, so any thoughts would be cool. Comments are A+ so keep that up. Thanks so much! Enjoy.


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