Sepia Makes Everybody Cry With a Dyle Fanfic

twenty

I scrambled to get up, but Kyle was standing before I could even blink. I made it, but the papers on my lap fell in a mess on the floor. I felt as though everything holding me together was suddenly and painfully coming undone. Kyle had turned away from me, starting to pace about the room, but my mind kept flashing back to the look he'd given me seconds ago. The absolute fear and brokenness in his eyes. My heart seized just thinking of it.

He was starting to hyperventilate when I jerked back to reality. "Kyle!" I shouted, lashing out and trying to grab his arms to steady him. In the attempt, I ended up slapping him.

He faced me violently and I pulled my hand back, clutching it to my chest. "I'm so sor—!" I began.

"Shut up!" he snapped. He was in hysterics. "I'm so stupid! I'm such a fucking idiot!"

"No, no," I whined, "Kyle, please. It wasn't just you."

He threw his arms wildly. "Yeah! Okay! That's just it! I can't believe nobody said anything!" His face crumpled and he dropped his arms. "I c-can't believe n-nobody said anyth-thing..."

I pulled him into a tight hug, trying to hold him tight enough to make this mess go away. This mental, unexpected, awful mess. Why, God? Why would you let this happen?

Kyle shuddered in my arms. He was crying. I was surprised I wasn't too.

"Now I'm going t-to be kno-own as th-the d-disloyal b-bastard. A ch-cheater," he sobbed.

A tiny piece in me broke. I hardly noticed the tears slipping down my own face. "It's my fault, Kyle. You were fine. You were completely content with keeping us friends and I had to go and fucking ruin everything. I'm pathetic. I just wanted attention and you were giving it to me. It's okay. J-Just... go. We haven't told anyone else. We can just tell Woody and Will to forget about it. You can go back to Janna, okay?" I released him and wrapped my arms around myself, beginning to feel crushed worse than ever. "You're not a cheater. You were just happy."

Kyle hiccupped and wiped his cheeks. "No..." he breathed. "No, I care about you. I don't want to lose you."

I pressed my lips together and stared hard at the floor. If I looked at him, I would lose. "Janna deserves all of you. I'm not going to ruin your relationship with her. You can tell Woody and Will. Or we can do it together... later." I sighed shakily. "You should go."

"Dan—!" he started again, taking a step toward me.

I jumped back. "Just go!" I snapped. I folded my arms tighter and turned away. "Call Janna. Forget about me." My heart pounded in my chest and I could feel my entire body shaking with each beat.

I heard him take a long breath and go to the door. It was another few seconds before he left. Then I sunk to the floor. My face was contorted and it started hurting after a few minutes, but I couldn't stop. The ache seemed to infect every centimeter of my body and I could hardly move without crying again.

A broken heart... My thoughts echoed that phrase for a while. I felt so incredibly stupid. 'Broken hearted.' I scoffed. How pathetic. You kissed a taken man. You knew he was taken. You're an idiot. An attention-craving, weak, leech of a man. I choked out another toxic laugh. "I'm not a 'man.' I'm a child. A stupid child."

I let the tears go for a while. I couldn't remember how long. Then, suddenly, I lost my balance and tipped over onto the floor. I coughed and tried to breathe again, putting my hands out to push myself back up. They landed on papers and I almost slipped again.

I steadied myself and picked them up. I glared at them, but suddenly the lines seemed to jump out at me. I murmured, "Shout... out." I grabbed the eraser and fixed that. "Shout out from the bottom of my lungs... A plague on both your houses!" My heart jumped. It's like I had known what was about to happen! The mess... "Both houses," I breathed. "Girls. Boys. Kyle. Janna." I slapped my forehead and allowed myself to smile.

I grimaced as I read the rest of the lyrics. That definitely wasn't how it was going anymore. I erased most of what I'd written and reread the good lines a few more times.

The tune returned to my head and I sung it quietly. More ideas lit up my face and I wiped my cheeks. "This thing is drawing out my weakness... No..." I scribbled more.

It was inevitably becoming depressing as hell. But it was incredibly relieving to write it all down in something someone else might enjoy... Others might hear this, I thought unbelievably. They might not know what it is... but... I didn't finish my thought, as more ideas came flying at me.

"I'm a child..." I echoed my woes from before. "Big boys don't cry. They don't ask why." It came out like a whine, and I liked it.

Verse after verse appeared on the paper until I collapsed against the bunk, my hand nearly seizing. Every paper—both sides—had writing on them. I felt proud, but reading over them, tears stung my eyes again as I remembered what was happening. This was real. This wasn't just another story in my head. I sighed and tucked away the lyrics. I didn't know if I would go back to them or not, but I was definitely keeping them.

Right now, though, I had a mess to fix.