The New Student

I Lost It

"Oh no," I whispered to myself, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot from crying last night and my face was all bloated. My dark hair was all stringy and oily. I looked terrible.

"Mom?" I walked into the kitchen where my mom was making breakfast. 

"Mari? Mari! What happened? You look terrible!" 

"I don't feel good today. I think I might be sick. Can I not go to school today?" I knew what I needed to tell Johnny. I felt awful about it. Maybe thinking about it for a day would relieve my problems.

Mom put her hand on my forehead, checking my temperature. "You feel normal. You're not sick, you just look sick. It's okay, it happens to all of us. You'll be fine. Go to school. You know, you can get scholarships for having perfect attendance throughout the four years of high school."

What?! "Mom, please!" I begged her desperately. I couldn't face Johnny or anyone at school like this! 

"Mari. Calm down. You'll be fine. Just put some makeup on today. I understand that you don't want to look like this in front of Johnny, but it's okay. He'll understand. We all have our days."

That made me feel worse. Tears coming to my eyes, I spun around and walked into my room. I turned the cold sink water on and washed my face, calming myself. Makeup. Why not? I brushed eyeliner on and added a thin layer of mascara, enough to make my eyelashes seem longer, not thicker. I dabbed a quick layer of smoky eye shadow to make my eyes seem fiercer and less tired. I covered up the shadows under my eyes with concealer and added a glossy pink lip balm. I tied my bland hair into a messy bun. There. At least I tried.

With a heavy heart, I walked to school, rehearsing what I would say to Johnny in my head. I walked into class where Johnny was already there, waiting and talking to Hansol. When he saw me, his face brightened and I noticed Hansol turn around, avoiding eye contact with me. 

"Mari, you look so pretty today! What's the special occasion?" Before I could respond, he swooped down and kissed me deeply, taking my breath away. 

What?! How was I supposed to tell him that I wanted to break up?! 

"Mmm, you even put lip balm on," he breathed. "It tastes good."

Then I lost it.