If Only You Knew

13 - Perfect and Horrible at the Same Time

April 13th, 2015 - Whitehall Manor, Northern Europe

I lay in my bed, curled against Matt's side with his arm around me, he's still asleep. He's so peaceful when he's asleep. His hair's all messy, like a golden halo around his head in the morning light coming through my curtains. I smile to myself, watching him dream. I look up at the canopy above my bed, pale purple and it almost shimmers in the light. I feel Matt stir beside me and look back at him, meeting his eyes.

"Good morning," his eyes are still half-closed, but he smiles down at me and I smile back.

"Good morning," I roll over onto my stomach and lean on my elbows next to him.

"What's the time?" He closes his eyes again and puts an arm across his eyes.

"I'm going to guess about nine twenty am," I smile down at him.

"Are you serious? Why did we sleep so late?" He moves his arm and widens his eyes at me.

"Well, we didn't come in here until about ten pm when we stopped talking, and then we didn't exactly sleep until about one am... I don't blame us for sleeping so late." I give a small smile and lean down, kissing him lightly.

"I suppose, we should still probably get up though." He gives a small smile up at me.

"I suppose," I quickly roll out of bed and open my wardrobe, changing out of my pyjama pants and t-shirt into a plain, ankle-length, long-sleeved purple dress. I leave my hair curling around my face, after running a hand through it.

I walk out and shut the wardrobe door, and find Matt trying to flatten his hair in my vanity mirror, fully dressed, his shirt on again. I walk over and stand beside him, leaning on the table next to him. "I like it all messed up."

"I know you do, but I'll get a scolding from Cassia," he gives me a wide smile, which I return. He reaches an arm around me and pulls me to his side, kissing the top of my head.

"Yeah, you will," I give a tiny laugh and smile up at him. "We should probably go and meet up with her and Andrew."

"We should, but we should go by the kitchen first, I'm starving," he nods and walks towards the door, holding my hand as I follow behind him.

"Good idea," I nod and quickly follow as my stomach gives a faint rumble, which encourages a giggle from Matt. "Don't laugh at me!"

"I wasn't laughing at you," he pulls me after him and I follow until we reach the kitchen and he makes cups of tea while I melt some cheese over some toast and hand him a slice and he hands me a cup of coffee.

We eat and drink in silence and then quickly clean up, Marie surprisingly no where to be seen. I walk with Matt quickly up to the library where we find Cassia and Matt, kissing against a bookcase and Matt coughs, as I stifle my laugh.

They quickly split apart and stare at us, Andrew rubbing his jaw and running a hand through his hair, and Cass simply smiles. "Don't give me that look brother, don't think I don't know why you two are so late."

I go bright red as Cass and Andrew gives small laughs and Matt replies. "Actually, we slept in after you wouldn't shut up last night."

"It doesn't really matter," I speak quickly, and no one says anything more as we crowd around a table, pouring over a huge, old book.

"Well, while you two were doing whatever you were doing, we found a book on dark magic," Cass gives a cheeky smile and narrows her eyes a little, but we all laugh it off. "Turns out those Islegreens have been messing with pretty serious stuff."

"You didn't get that from the 'dark' magic part, Cass?" Matt laughs sarcastically as Cassia rolls her eyes.

"It says that dark magic always requires a balance, like a sacrifice for every 12 years it's held in place. To appease the dark spirits," I scan the book page.

"Exactly," Cass leans over next to me. "And I'm assuming that the spirits said if she sacrificed you that she could have unlimited power for as long as she wanted."

"Why me?" I look over at her, raising my eyebrows.

"Because you came back from the dead, and you hold more power than any other spell caster to ever live." She smiles at me like it's obvious.

"Oh, right," I nod, my curls bouncing around my face.

"And we do have a huge advantage," she smiles as we all raise our eyebrows.

"And what would that be?" It's the first time I've heard Andrew speak all morning.

"Me, duh," Cass looks around at all of us. "She doesn't know that I have magic."

"But she's been still being sacrificing spell casters and absorbing their magic for the past century and a half," I look over at her, shaking my head. "She's too powerful, we have to outsmart her."

That ended the conversation and we spent the rest of the day pouring over books and talking to each other, mostly Cass and I, trying to find a way to stop Islegreen. It was going to be tough. That was for certain. 

We all missed dinner because of the distraction of the books and Marie and Charles brought us some coffee and savoury pastries. They were gone very quickly and we didn't stop until about 8pm.

Cass slams the book shut and stands up, putting it in the chair behind her. "I can't do it anymore, I'm going to bed."

"I'll come with you," Andrew puts his own book down and walks out behind her, wishing us good night and at that Matt snaps his head up.

"Were you asleep?" I widen my eyes at him as Andrew leaves and Matt shakes his head quickly.

"No, no, I, uh, yeah, but only for a second," he looks down in embarrassment.

"It doesn't matter, Matt," I give him a small smile, which he returns, even with his tired eyes. "Come one."

I place my book and his on the table with Cass and Andrew's, then stand and take his hand. He follows without a word as we walk to my room. I close the door behind us and he takes his shirt off, so I look away as I go to my wardrobe and change in a nightgown. I walk out of the wardrobe and over to Matt, who's sitting on the edge of the bed.

I sit down next to him, my feet just touching the floor. "Are you alright?"

He gives a small sigh, "Not really. You're in danger, Cassia is in danger. The two people I love the most in the whole world are in danger. Why would I be alright, Alice?"

"I understand," I reach over and put my arms around him, my head resting on his shoulder. "But it will be fine, we'll win. The good guys always do."

"But what is winning going to cost us?" He gives me a question that I cant possibly answer, so I stay quiet but he moves to face me and I look down.

The next thing I know, his lips are on mine and all I know is him and me, me and him. Together. He's all I can see, smell, hear and tastes. I smile giddily as he kisses me and I shut my eyes, kissing him back, my hands tangled in his hair.

How can life be horrible, yet have such perfect moments like this?